Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Review

The moment I saw the cover of the book form of this, I was already laughing at the idea. There's a popular theme going on in cinema lately in which history is revisited and either rewritten or "secrets" are revealed.
A lot of people are raving about how great this movie was. I'm not one of those people. Sure, some of the effects were nice, the acting could've been worse (I would've liked some wine with my cheesy dialogue) and I enjoyed the fact that young Abraham looked like a young extra hot Liam Neeson but this film requires a lot of suspension of belief in order to enjoy it.
And even then it lost me. If you added up the length this film went into slow motion, a good half an hour was probably wasted on it. A few times is cool. Most of the time anything action-y happens is a bit ridiculous. I tried really hard to take it seriously, but this film took itself so seriously I just kind of gave up. I think it lost me sometime in the beginning when Abraham has a vicious battle with the vampire who killed his mother....on a herd of running wild horses. Just try to imagine that. Just try.
I guess for those people who really don't care about accuracy or abuse of slow motion or ridiculous fight scenes it was fun. Good ridiculous fun. The one thing I'll give this film is it brought back the original idea of vampires being monsters. Actual monsters with big scary teeth who will eat your family so they can laugh every time they see you on the streets and think to themselves his family sure was tasty! But there was also the idea that not all of these monsters are necessarily bad all around, and I liked that too.
Michael was twitching the entire time because he, unlike myself, bothered to read the book and after a feverish rant on the extreme difference between the two I might actually pick it up. The bottom line? The titles are the same. Very little else is. Even actual historical events were left out in the film. His love interest wasn't even his first choice, and he didn't even really like her. And that's just a small detail. The author did his homework and made the story believable. That's something I can get behind.
But this train wreck (haha there was a train wreck in the movie, get it?) of a film, I can't.

Anniversaries

   As of this past week, Michael and I have been together for three years and married for six months. They say the first year of marriage is the hardest but when you're in a shitty town and everyone around you seems to be having marriage trouble in some way you realize one of the only good things you have is each other.
   Michael asked me out June 22nd at around 2am at my cousins house. There was booze involved, that's for sure. We were sitting outside on the porch, and he asked me how to say girlfriend in Spanish. Novia. I already knew what he was going to say but he slowly put the words together in a sentence. It was silly and cute and even after some of the drama we'd already gone through I wanted to say yes so I did.
   We got mixed reactions, of course. And I don't think anyone, including myself, thought we'd end up growing so gracefully and starting a life together. But it was so worth sticking through it and getting past my initial fears of being just another girl in his life.
   I think without the army situation though, we might not have made such a decision. We got to a point in our relationship in 2010 when one of us needed to do something big with our life and get out of the huge rut we'd found ourselves in. He was going to be away and neither of us knew for how long at that point. It was a big scary thing, but somewhere along the way we both decided we didn't want to be without each other no matter what happened.
   I questioned things every step of the way. I was always worried he didn't actually want to be with me, that kind of thing. But Michael was always helping me through my insecurities. We formed a trust we'd never had before. Through our letters, we reached a level of communication we'd never experienced before. It was completely and entirely worth it, because we both wanted it and we both did anything to make it work.
   I can honestly say we haven't had any major fights here. Neither of us has ever slept on the couch out of anger. We have our tiffs over stupid things but we're quick to clear it up and get over it. Some of the couples here have told us how good we are together, and I can't help being proud. It's been obvious since we got here that we have a really really good thing. There are a lot of army couples here that got married on a whim, didn't know each other for long, or stayed together for all the wrong reasons.
   But I have my best friend. We know everything about each other, the good and the bad. We want the same things, we have a great foundation of friendship, and I couldn't possibly see myself with anyone else. In the long run, this is only the beginning. So I hope to have many more anniversaries to come with this perfect guy for me.

Handwriting

1. Your name (I messed it up a little but oh well)
2. Your blog URL
3.  "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog."
4. The date.
5. Some favorite bands
6. A favorite quote
7. The name of a person you love.

I don't know why but I'm really bored today! I feel kind of restless and I have a lot on my mind. We're picking up my best friend tonight and she's staying with us through the weekend! So I keep trying to find stuff to do till then but sadly I've been glued to the computer since I finished my workout.

I should really get away from the computer because all I do is lurk in places I shouldn't. I need some foooood!

A Change In Color

   I've been meaning to do this for a long time. I kept putting it off or chickening out or I just plain didn't have the money. Finally while at the mall yesterday I just sucked it up and bought some bleach and dye and had a friend help me get started.
   I have a ton of hair so it took a while, about an hour each time. And you can probably tell from the pictures that my hair is fried, which is what I was afraid would happen. I need some serious conditioner therapy.
I haven't done anything besides get my hair trimmed since my senior year of high school. I just really wanted a change.
   So now the ends are this shimmery dark purple. Michael did the purple part, and we got purple all over ourselves. Definitely stained some bits. I wanted blue for a while but I like purple too. I sort of just wish it had been lighter, but A) it's supposed to be a dark purple, not a neon B) my friend recommended bleaching again but I was too afraid to.
   That's that really, I now I have a dark dip dye look.

P90X: Week One Done!

   So I kept hearing people say "P90X" and for a while it was just some weird code for some workout program. It's been going around here, although I don't know who all is sticking to it necessarily because I don't see them very often.
   Last week Michael downloaded the whole series; a set of workout routines, nutrition advice, and all kinds of print outs you can use to help yourself along. After watching the intro and learning about the different regiments I chose the Lean workout, which is the schedule you see above.
  I'm hoping for results like this woman got:


   So amazing! I love seeing such drastic before and after results. Now, I've been trying different kinds of exercise for months and I always get off track. I also do not believe in scales and numbers. I'm so done with being disappointed when I look down. However, last time I weighed myself (a couple months ago) I was around 160+. I'm 5'6" so it's fairly evenly distributed, but I haven't been happy with my image since last summer when I was starting to lose weight swimming and working out but gained it all back around the holidays, the wedding, and moving.
   I like food. And although I'm not immediately dedicated myself to the diet that comes with the P90X program, I am slowly consciously eating more vegetables, drinking a lot more water, and snacking less. I may pick up some energy bars and some healthy smoothie ingredients during our next shopping trip, but I'm not going to starve myself on lettuce and plainly grilled fish. This means I have to work pretty damn hard for results, and that's okay.

As of week 1

   Day 1 kicked my ass, of course. But looking back I think it's my favorite workout. That or Cardio X. They have great mixes of a lot of different exercises, whereas the others are very focused.
   I've been sore aaaaalll week. It's been hard to get out of bed, or reach for something, or bend down; something different every day hurts. But it feels fantastic! After one workout day I kept going and got on my trampoline and did some assisted pull ups!
   I already feel better than I did before I started, and it really only takes an hour or two to get it done every day. Today is my rest day, but I'd also like to see what Stretch X is like so I'll be doing that this afternoon.

    My goals:
♠Slim down! I want more of a thigh gap and my hip bones back. I miss them. If I had to put a number on it, around 20lbs would be ideal.
♠Keep trying to eat a little better. Replace unhealthy snacks with a fruit smoothie and take vitamins more consistently.
♠Follow through! The program is 90 days and I want to stick to it. By announcing this publicly, I am pressured to show people I can really do it.
♠Be able to do at least three pull ups with no assistance. I've never really been able to do that, not even when I was in shape, because I've never had to focus on upper arm strength, but P90X calls for it!
♠Keep going when it's over. I may just go to a different workout regiment instead of Lean. By then I doubt I'll want to stop because I'll be in great shape!
   My inspiration: Old pictures of me at my ideal weight and shape!

Hair Styles According to Instagram

I've been into finding new things to do with my hair the last few months because it's about as long as it's ever been since my childhood and I like making it look nicer or at least getting it out of the way.
I've learned:
-a 5 strand braid
-a braided bun
-big 60's bun
-side french braid
-hair bow
Things I still can't do:
-curl my own hair
-two side french braids
Basically when I'm bored I type "hair tutorial" into YouTube and click on something that intrigues me and try it out right then and there. I really like the 5 strand braid; it was a challenge but worth getting the hang of!

A Father's Day Post

Graduation night, 2009

   Growing up I had kind of a distant relationship with my dad. My parents divorced when I was about five, right around the time my brother was born and I don't remember much about it, but I do remember moving to Prescott. I went to Phoenix, where my dad moved, every weekend until I hit my teens. I missed a lot of slumber parties and birthday parties and I'd always have to say: "I can't, I have to go to my dad's."
    But he did so much for me that my mom just wasn't able to do and I didn't realize it growing up. I was even angry that he didn't do enough when I was fourteen (The Year I Was Angry About Everything) because he wasn't all there emotionally in my eyes. He watched a lot of sports. But he always helped me with my math homework and always bought me things I asked for during the holidays.
   When I got older, he made it possible for me to start college. If it weren't for him, I'd probably have no education past high school. He pressured me, and even though it bothered me sometimes I'm so happy I have two years of college under my belt because of him. Just about any time I talk to him he asks me about going back to school. Right now since I don't know where I'll be at the end of the year, it's likely I'll wait, but I know I want to go back when we're in a more permanent place.
   He also paid for just about the entire wedding. He helped me pick my wedding dress online and was there the day it came and I made sure it fit. I was living with him by then, going to school in Phoenix and having no idea what the future would be like. He drove me around to some far away stores to find things to go with my dress, we went to movies, stayed up watching tv shows and I really got used to being there. I finally got to know him and he made more sense. In turn, I saw traits in myself I never knew I got from him.
   I never thought I'd miss living in Phoenix. I've been in Oklahoma about five months now and I keep missing all these holidays that I was always there for and it just feels so weird. Usually I'd be in Phoenix with my brother and my dad would take us out somewhere.
   I just can't live this far away from family forever. Some families are spread out over the country and hardly ever see each other except for Christmas. But my immediate family is in Arizona, or very close to it. I feel like we might end up in Phoenix one day.

Day 26: Things You Always Think About

The Past.
Which I'm always saying to other people you should just forget about, but when it comes down to it I think about it everyday. At night I think about:
past loves,
past friendships,
things I did (that I wish I didn't),
things I wish I did,
things I shouldn't have said,
and things I have.
Nights I wish I could relive,
nights I sort of wish didn't happen,
things I should've said no to,
or said yes to.
I go back to memories in my head
with the knowledge I have now
and imagine what I'd do instead. 

I kinda feel like the most nostalgic person in the world because I think about something that's already happened at least once a day. It all happened for a reason and I'm glad but sometimes I really miss some of it.
Everything is really really different. The world moves on whether you like it or not. And although I don't miss any of the drama or the tears I miss all the good parts. I think everybody probably feels the same way about their lives.

As they say: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

June, The Month of New Stuff

In the last two weeks:
♥Two shows started back up again and I'm watching them without shame: Teen Wolf and True Blood
♥I started P90X, a super intense workout program. Today is day three and I'm sore as fuck. I can't take a break until day seven.
♥My dad sent me Mario Party 9; it's very different from the others but Michael and I enjoyed it anyway.
♥I bought a new blue Wiimote because my best friend is visiting in less than a week and I want her to be able to play MP9 with us!
♥I also ran out and bought Lollipop Chainsaw, a hack and slash blatantly perverted game that I'm also shamelessly enjoying. I'll see about writing a review when I'm done!
♥My dad finally sent me my Magic Bullet so I can make smoothies and stuff again, which I'm way too happy about.
♥I'm still waiting to see if I got the job I interviewed for last week!
♥ I got this shirt in the mail from Deroy today! (the text is white, I just filtered it with night vision because....I don't know.)

I always feel so spoiled in June! It's like my birthday all month.

A Dose of Corgi: Food

  Our dogs have a funny way of eating. For the most part I just put the food out for them in their dishes in the dining room by their water dish, but they never run for it like a lot of dogs do. Some days they don't eat their intended breakfast until later in the afternoon, probably after eating stuff from outside all day.
   As these are our first dogs it is a little weird and concerning. But they run and play and nap and do all the stuff they normally do other than that, and show no signs of being sick. Foxy concerns us more because she's very skinny for a corgi, which is why we call her our imitation corgi. They're supposedly sisters, but Toki is the one who's got the expected corgi image.
  Sometimes they'd take turns eating, and one would go a whole day without food unless I made sure to put food in their kennel (which I'd always do). Finally I got tired of it and decided to feed them separately. But even then Foxy hasn't gained any visible weight. Yesterday we decided it was time to give them a heartier food and give Foxy a little extra.
  We got these little packets of some meat bits and gravy (specific to dogs, obviously), and I give most to Foxy mixed into her dry food and a little taste to Toki. You'd think they'd never eaten before because they seriously chowed down when they tried it last night.
  This morning when I sent them to their kennels to just the new dry food (I thought maybe I'd just give them the bits once a day) they sniffed it and seemed to look at me as if to say What the hell is this, where's that stuff from last night? Toki laid down and sighed real big like she was pouting. So I guess they really like it.
  I bent since it's still new to them and split up a packet (more to Foxy) and they went nuts. Toki simply snarfed it down like there's no tomorrow, licked the bowl and watched Foxy delicately picking out her bits before finishing the rest of the food. It was honestly really funny, I couldn't help but watch.
  Their personalities have bloomed since we got them and they seem really happy and loved. I still remember those first few nights we had them when none of us could sleep. They're very well behaved now!

A Marriage Quiz

How long have you been married?
Going on six months now! And three years of being together.
Is this your first marriage?
Uh yes, and intend for it to be my only marriage.
Is it how you imagined it would be?
Absolutely, it's been amazing so far. We make the best team.
What would you change?
Just that we lived closer to home.
Are you married to your soulmate?
If I hadn't been sure I might not have gone through with it.
What do you argue about the most?
The way we talk to each other. We can never stay mad for more than a few hours.
What do you see eye to eye on the most?
A lot of things actually.
Where did you meet your spouse?
Harkins Theatre in Prescott Valley Arizona.
Where was your first date?
I don't know about when we were younger, but in '09 we saw The Hangover and that was kind of a date.
Where were you when you became engaged?
His house.
Did you live together before Marriage?
Nope, pretty traditional, didn't move in till we were married.
What was your wedding song?
We didn't get to have music at our wedding, but that's okay. We have a few songs that remind us of each other.
Who was in your wedding party?
My cousins, our best friends, Alex and Stewart.
Do you get along with the in-laws?
Yeah, I've known them since I was 13.
Whats your view on Children?
We'll have them eventually, just not anytime soon.
Does your spouse feel the same way?
Yes, thankfully.
Are you a 2 peas in a pod or opposites attract couple?
Opposites never work out in the end. We're 2 peas in a pod.
Do you go out without your spouse?
When I was home I did. Now I rarely do unless I'm working.
How long are you away from your spouse before you start to miss him/her?
Depends. Usually a day or two. It was really hard when he went to basic.
Have you ever compared your spouse to someone you have dated in the past?
It happens. I usually say something to him about it and it's never a big thing.
Do you trust your Spouse?
Absolutely.
Does your Spouse trust you?
As far as I know, yes.
How well do you know your spouses favorites?
I know his favorites pretty damn well I'd say. I know what kind of movies he likes and what kind of food he likes at restaurants, stuff like that.
How well does your spouse know your favorites?
He definitely knows most of my favorites.
Do you get along with your spouses friends?
Usually, yeah because we have a lot of the same friends but here it's weird. It's hard to feel like I have friends here.
Does your spouse get along with your friends?
Yeah he tends to like the friends I pick.
Did you go on a honeymoon?
Sadly no but sometime in the next year or so we're hoping to go somewhere awesome. Like Disneyland or something.
Do you watch the same TV shows?
We like a lot of the same shows but we each have a show the other doesn't like.
Can you agree on Pizza toppings?
I always want more meat than him but otherwise yes.
Who takes out the trash?
We take turns.
Who does laundry?
We do our own laundry, though occasionally he asks me to do his.
Who cooks dinner?
He cooks more than I do.
Who is the first one to wake up in the morning?
He is during the week, I am on weekends.
Do you have any traditions?
Birthdays; we put on the birthday song by The Beatles and have a big breakfast.
Is there anyone in your spouses family that you cant stand?
No, just one person I can't understand who always changes their opinion of me. Seriously all the time.
Anyone in your spouses family you adore?
So many of them, they're fantastic.
Do you know your spouses passwords/pins?
Some of them, I always mess it up though.
Does your spouse know your social security number?
Most of it, he tends to ask if he needs it.
Do you ever nag your spouse?
Only when I'm worried he'll get in trouble with the army somehow.
Do you admit wrong doing?
Yes, I think it's really important to admit you're wrong.
Does your spouse?
I have to really call him out sometimes but yes.
How would you grade your sex life?
Still pretty damn good. We're imaginative.
When is the last time you or your spouse bought each other flowers?
It's been a long time actually, I guess we don't do flowers much.

Prometheus, and Other Sci Fi Films That Terrify Me

    All films, songs and books have a certain effect on me in a pretty serious way. I leave most movies after totally immersing my brain in them feeling like I'm in whatever universe was created before me. I just let this stuff wash over me and so I can leave feeling spooked, paranoid, happy or really sad. It usually lasts for about 24 hours unless I can find something else to distract myself with. Sometimes I like the feeling, even if it's kind of negative, as long as that seemed to be the goal of the film.
   Prometheus was one of those films that both scarred and amazed me. It's these sci fi/horror films that entice me and end up showing me something I never wanted to think about. Moon, Sunshine, District 9, all movies I liked but had something that made me really squeamish. Since they're in the future my brain says hey, it could happen. And that's the worst part. If there's some kind of gore, something unnatural happening to a human body and there's screaming and blood I have a really hard time watching it. But this was one of those movies where I just couldn't look away.
   Ridley Scott is the creator of this film, and if you weren't aware he's also responsible for the Alien film series. Now, I haven't seen them, but once it was over Michael started telling me how Prometheus was a small link, possibly a prequel to the series. Even I recognized a certain monster in the movie. You can't ignore it. It got me so interested in the story line I'm downloading Alien right now, though I think my eyes might hate me for it.
   Overall I really liked it. It may be one of those movies, though, that when it's on my tv in the future, I just might walk away during certain parts.

    I guess I have to hand it to the effects team and the people who made this so real I shut my eyes for a second (or three). I also just really loved the fact that one of my new favorite actresses was the strongest character in the movie. Noomi Rapace, also famous for her role as Lisbeth Salander in the Swedish The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. It was obvious from the preview that everyone is pretty much fucked, but that's an understatement. However Noomi, like Sigourney Weaver in Alien, is the badass that makes it out alive.
   The android David was really precious. Even though he was the kid who wouldn't stop touching stuff he wasn't supposed to touch I couldn't be mad at him. Michael Fassbender plays a really good soulless robot. It wasn't that he was the official bad guy or anything (at least in my opinion) because there are a variety of intentions harbored in the people on board. I do have to admit that Charlize Theron's character was rather weak and never went anywhere or surprised me.
   Again the storyline was really interesting. I was right there with Noomi's character in wanting answers. It's a visually beautiful (and horrifying) universe, and if you're not intrigued by it then you're one of the douchebags who sat behind me who wouldn't stop saying how stupid it is because it's "such a ripoff of Alien." It's not a ripoff, it's a prequel. I really hate people who don't bother learning anything about movies and the story behind their creation.
   So yes, I'd watch it again, but on a smaller screen and somewhere I can hide behind a pillow for a minute. It's just that one scene (referenced the in second photo) that got me. Lots of people worked on this movie, more than the average, so congrats to them for making something like this that I ended up liking. It's worth seeing at least once!


Check out the timeline that links Prometheus and Alien!

The Quotebook

    If you hang out with me long enough you might notice me pull this book out and write something down. It's usually amusing but sometimes impressive, and anything goes: movie quotes, book quotes, show quotes, famous people and the people I know.
   It all started in high school. Imagine that book  twice as big and in the hands of my best friend Serra. Since freshmen year when we had p.e. together I helped her collect quotes or produce them myself. It was one of the many many things we bonded over. To this day that book still gets a new quote once in a while. Looking through it you can see who was in our lives and to us it's almost like history. It's better than a year book. You can see what we were into at the time and who was around, without all the embarrassing pictures and all the people we don't know.
   When I moved Serra gave me my quote book. Same style, same pattern, same color, just smaller. The baby quote book. It's easy to keep in my purse and makes me feel a little more connected to my best friend, like I'm on a mission to write things down she might think are funny or enjoyable. I can tell her stories about the people who said the things I wrote down.
  It's a fun little side hobby. I'll skim through and choose a few to show you.


"Underneath the bruises and the handcuffs, you know what I see? A girl I respect." -Little Shop of Horrors

Anthropology teacher: Another thing I don't consider art is Techno, but I'm sure there's someone in this room who likes it. 
Older woman: Yeah I love the Black Eyed Peas!
(and here I face palmed myself because wow)


"What's that place where Steven King wrote that scary ass book?" -my cousin Melanie

"That's the thing about cops. They're like vampires--they can't come in unless you invite them."  -Michael's friend Frear

"If your boyfriend is sitting in front of the TV playing video games, either learn how to play with him or make him a sandwich and shut the fuck up." -my friend Hillary
(this is one of my favorites because I was telling her about how an army wife here made her husband get rid of his Xbox because she wasn't getting enough attention. I'm pro-video games so I agreed.)

"It feels like they're filming Jurassic Park in my stomach right now." -my friend Brian Lawler (after eating at Devil's Pantry)

So you get the idea. If someone makes me laugh I'll whip out the book, and that includes people on TV. I'm glad I have it. On bad days I'll look through it and it'll at least make me smile. 
  
   

Day 25: Wishes

I know I skipped the VLOG completely. I'm aware. I kept putting it off and putting it off and I hate seeing myself on camera anyway. But today I actually gave it an attempt. I went to YouTube and used my webcam to record myself. But when I watched it the video would freeze and the audio kept going. It kept doing that. I got frustrated and said fuck it.

First of all, today is my 21st birthday. I'd be a lot more excited about this if I were home and had access to friends and family and places I actually wanted to go to celebrate. But this morning was really nice. Michael and I have similar birthday traditions and so I felt at home when he woke me up early to the birthday song by The Beatles, breakfast and a few nice presents.
He gave me a shirt representing my favorite video game and some really pretty wood spiral hooks. It was really sweet and I was really happy.
I've been getting little things in the mail here and there and lots of happy thoughts from people today, so even though I'm bummed about not being home it's nice to know everyone is thinking of me.

I thought I'd just go ahead and do day 25: three selfish and three unselfish wishes. I don't know if I'll be blowing out any candles today necessarily but it seems appropriate to be making wishes on my birthday.

Six Wishes:
1. I wish my family were all in good health. It seems like lately I keep getting bad news about my relatives, and Michael's too. I just want them all to be better and stop suffering.
2. I wish people understood each other better. There are so many closed minds out there and it inhibits a lot of good things from happening and brings up so much controversy. 
3. I wish money didn't have so much power over people. It's just paper, we invented it. It's silly really. And so unevenly distributed throughout society. I wish it wasn't so taboo and difficult to live without it.
---- 
1.  I can't help wishing I had more money either way. Either that or the power to live with less.
2. I wish Michael could be stationed closer to home. We find out where we're going next in a few months and I'm so so nervous about it.
3. I wish I had super powers. I always say that when it comes to wishing. It's childish but I think about it all the time. As long as it's an A list superpower and not something lame.

So far it's been a pretty average day and that's okay. We're going to Olive Garden tonight and I can finally order a big kid drink! Hooray! It does suck not to be home and seeing my favorite faces but I suppose there'll be plenty of time for that in the future.

Questionaire

Up early this morning and really bored.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4."...listed the phases of the moon in both Kingdoms..."
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch? The plastic drawers behind my computers where I keep junk.
3. Before you started this survey, what were you doing? Watching Friends and eating breakfast.
4. What is the last thing you watched on TV? See above answer.
5. Without looking, guess what time it is. 8:25am
6. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 8:35am
7. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? Some distant noises from the neighborhood. Dogs, cars etc.
8. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? Yesterday, to go to the store.
9. Did you dream last night? I think so but I don't remember.
10. Do you remember your dreams? Most of the time. They're pretty memorable.
11. When did you last laugh? Last night going to bed when Michael and I were being silly.
12. Do you remember why / at what? I was bugging him about the game he was playing on his phone.
13. What is on the walls of the room you are in?A bulletin board of pictures, a big decorative scarf thing from home, the fan Deroy gave me.
14. Seen anything weird lately? This town has no Jack in the Box.
15. What do you think of this quiz? Slightly better than any others I found when I looked.
16. What is the last film you saw? Men in Black 3, loved it.
17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? Maybe Sedona or somewhere pretty in Arizona.
18. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? A new car, a house in AZ, another dog, some investments or something.
19. Tell me something about you that most people don't know. Anything terrible people think of me couldn't be any worse than what I think of myself sometimes.
20. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? No more organized religion.
21. Do you like to dance? Not really.
22. Would you ever consider living abroad? I have to consider it right now in case my husband gets stationed over seas.
23. Does your name make any interesting anagrams?  My full name before I changed it makes Mercury, the planet of my Zodiac, Gemini; Mercury is also the Roman God of communication which is what I believe the most in.
24. Who made the last incoming call on your phone? Probably Michael.
25. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?  A game, Psychonauts.
26. Last time you swam in a pool? It's been a while, last summer I think.
27. Type of music you like most?  Metal.
28. Type of music you dislike most?  Country.
29. Are you listening to music right now? No, most times I don't mind quiet.
30. What color is your bedroom carpet? Gross stained beige, like the whole house.
31. If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?  New carpet and mostly hardwood floors.
32. What was the last thing you bought?  Taco Bell.
33. Have you ever ridden on a motorbike?  I haven't.
34. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Not even if you paid me.
35. Do you have a garden?  No, but I might do that someday.
36. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?  Yes.
37. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?  Michael, since usually I wake up to say bye to him.
38. If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be? Robin Williams.
39. Who sent the last text message you received? My friend I call Fatty. She's not really fat it's just a nickname.
40. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? I don't have a credit card and I don't like debt.
41. What time is bed time?  10:30 or 11. Lame but I get tired when Michael does.
42. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? Nope.
43. How many tattoos do you have?  Nine.
44. If you don't have any, have you ever thought of getting one? Not applicable, but I actually have to get the last one I got fixed. The red ink in the little heart rejected. :(
45. What did you do for your last birthday? Went to breakfast with my family, hung out, opened presents.
46. Do you carry a donor card?  I don't.
47. Who was the last person you ate dinner with? Hubby.
48. Is the glass half empty or half full?  Depends on the situation.
49. What's the farthest-away place you've been?  Mexico.
50. When's the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?  Years ago. My mom grew them.
51. Have you ever won a trophy?  Just for winning a spelling bee in Elementary School.
52. Are you a good cook?  I'm improving.
53. Do you know how to pump your own gas? Yep.
54. If you could meet any one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be?  I really don't know. I guess the current president of the states.
55. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school? Thankfully no.
56. Do you touch-type? I have all of my fingers on the keyboard if that's what you mean. I don't peck with one finger, that would take forever.
57. What's under your bed?  Nothing, the mattress is on the floor.
58. Do you believe in love at first sight?  Sort of, but not really.
59. Think fast, what do you like right now? My dogs and being married.
60. Where were you on Valentine's day?  Here in Oklahoma. I made Michael a card that looked like a steak.
61. What time do you get up? Whenever, depends how early I have to work or do something.
62. What was the name of your first pet?  Kahlua. Family dog that ran away when I was really really little. After that a cat named Zachary.
63. Who is the second to last person to call you? I don't know, too lazy to look.
64. Is there anything going on this weekend?  I turn 21 tomorrow so I was gonna try to do something this weekend.
65. How are you feeling right now?  Alright, kinda meh. I'm unhappy that I won't be with friends and family on my birthday.
66. What do you think about the most?  Arizona.
67. What time do you get up in the morning? Okay I had this question, silly person who wrote this.
68. If you had A Big Win in the Lottery, how long would you wait to tell people?  The only thing stopping me would be whether or not I had an internet connection. I wouldn't wait at all.
69. Who would you tell first?  Facebook. Everyone.
70. What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema? Again, MIB3.
71. Do you sing in the shower?  Rarely.
72. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Alright stop it.
73. What do you do most when you are bored? Stuff like this.
74. What do you do for a living? Well I just quit a very stupid job at the mall and am waiting to hear from a few places about another job. I want to go to school for Psychology to have a real job.
75. Do you love your job? I hate dead end jobs.
76. What did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a ballerina when I was five. I went to dance class and everything. It didn't pan out because my teacher got fired.
77. If you could have any job, what would you want to do/be? Youth counselor, couples counseling, marriage counseling. 
78. Which came first the chicken or the egg? Not really worried about it.
79. How many keys on your key ring?  Probably about five.
80. Where would you retire to? Prescott, Arizona.
81. What kind of car do you drive?  A toyota corolla. Great gas mileage.
82. What are your best physical features?  I like my eyes and my hands.
83. What are your best characteristics?  Good listener, I care a lot, I always tell the truth.
84. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?  Japan, Ireland, India.
85. What kind of books do you like to read? Just short ones usually geared towards younger people that I can finish quickly.
86. Where would you want to retire to? You're fired.
87. What is your favorite time of the day?  When it gets dark and we don't have to get up early.
88. Where did you grow up?  Prescott, Arizona.
89. How far away from your birthplace do you live now? Literally 911 miles. It is an emergency, Lawton is the never-been-washed armpit of Oklahoma.
90. What are you reading now?  I was trying to get through The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo but I lost interest.
91. Are you a morning person or a night owl?  Night owl. I do like to see the occasional sunrise and morning though.
92. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?  No, I always wished I could for some reason.
93. Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows?  ...Are there some people who can't do that? What's that about?
94. Do you have pets?  Yep, two corgis, love them lots.
95. How many rings before you answer the phone? Maybe three while I check who it is.
96. What is your best childhood memory?  Fifth grade. Best teacher, kids were nicer to me, I ran around with Stewart, it was good times.
97. What are some of the different jobs that you have had in your life?  Worked at a craft store, a resort, and a kiosk. Didn't really like anyone but I got attached to the resort job. I liked the people and I liked sneaking into the hot tub and pool.
98. Any new and exciting things that you would like to share?  My birthday is tomorrow, my best friend is visiting in a few weeks, I'm pretty sure I'm going to Supai, just a few more months till Michael graduates and we get the fuck out of here.
99. What is most important in life?  The people who love you.
100. What Inspires You?  Loss, the end of something, nature. Those things always make me want to write or make something.

Anti Reality

It happened. I grew up. All that talk about someday, one day at fifteen, and today is someday, today is tomorrow. I didn't expect it to happen so fast. I didn't think I'd be anywhere near where I am. High school doesn't seem so far away. I think about the people I used to know often. I just want to know that they're okay. I don't think so negatively anymore, which is good. I care more.
But here I am sitting in a dark room by myself with a weak drink and my keyboard because I don't feel like mingling with the army family folks next door. Sometimes I feel so obligated to be social that all I want to do is hide.
I'm not as skinny as I used to be and the circles around my eyes seem darker than a while ago, maybe it's just me. Here I'm learning to be patient, be my own friend, and accept where I am. It's something I've done before but in a different situation. I guess I still have a lot to learn. I can't help but whine all the time about living somewhere so much more boring than my hometown. Now I feel bad for complaining about it. I wish I'd learn not to take so much for granted.
I have a lot in common with an old Indian woman at the mall. After talking she says she can't believe I think the way I do; I'd fit right in in India. I seem to impress her all the time. I guess I'm old fashioned like that.

I'm going through this phase where everything just feels so anti-magical. I'm in a rut; I've got writers block and I don't have the passion or the drive I did a few years ago. I'd like to publish a book but I don't have the heart to start a story. Nothing feels special. I work at a tiny mall in a dingy town. Thank god I wake up to my best friend every day.
It takes me nearly six months to get used to a place. I'm not kicking and screaming and crying all the time like I was when we first got here. But it sucks. Every day is one big sigh. It's all going to change again in a few more months. I wonder how I'll take it.

Bad news from home. Mikey's childhood pet Chaos might have doggie cancer. Another Cook dog is sick. His great uncle actually has cancer. My mom's parents are in and out of the hospital often but that's not quite new news.

I say this all the time and I'll say it again. I just want a normal life in Arizona where we belong. I'm so anti all of this.