Planning a Wedding in Six Weeks

Thanksgiving

If it sounds incredibly stressful that's because it is. Three weeks before Michael officially asked me to marry him we decided to get a head start on the wedding. At first he thought we'd just go to the courthouse with our best friends, sign the papers, and have a lazy winter break before our move. That's not really what I wanted. We talked about having a small family gathering, and then a party with our friends the next day. Then we set a date and went into overdrive.
While visiting Prescott my mom bought a few things here and there, and we starting making an invite list. I had a dress in mind from a certain website and went ahead and ordered it (it's here, and it's awesome). I also have my shoes, some pretty new spiral tapers for my ears, some sparkly things to put in my hair and a fake fur wrap to keep me warm.
We had a lot to figure out, and quick. How big will this be? Michael's family is huge and my mom kept trying to make me invite obscure relatives. We had no choice but to leave some people out. Michael's mom stepped in and helped me straighten a lot of things out. Surprisingly we have a lot of things set already. A photographer, someone to do my makeup (and probably hair), chairs are set to rent, we've got a space heater set to rent...and a lot of other stuff. The cake was the first thing taken care of and I'm excited to see it. It's gonna be tasty with a chai spice cake and chocolate mousse filling.
But I still kind of feel like I'm going crazy. All we have to figure out is some last minute smaller details but it's really difficult when the bride and groom don't live in the town they're marrying in. I told myself I wouldn't try to plan a wedding with my mom either, and I've been forced to do so, and last time I saw her I told her she was driving me nuts. Sometimes I feel like my own wedding is slipping out of my hands and I have to get a hold of it again.
When Michael visited we were all over the place. We got him fitted for a tux, he got a new jazzy top hat, we bought flowers for the bridal party and the relatives, we got an invitation kit (instead of my mom making them herself one by one, I wasn't sure how long that would take) we bought candles and were pretty much constantly busy. I didn't sleep as much as I wanted to and was super worn out by the time we had to head back to Phoenix.

I mean we got some friend time in and had some fun, no doubt. But if we were at his parents house we were usually making a decision of some kind, like invitation font and wording.
We're still figuring out food at the small reception. My family is being really weird and wanting to buy cheap stuff and not listening to me. So that sucks. I'll figure it out though.
I'm really excited to have my ring! I sort of helped him pick it out months ago when we were looking through every stereotypical jewelry website ever and couldn't find anything. But Michael found this website and I really liked a lot of the designs. I'm not a diamond girl either, diamonds are just boring and overrated.
I decided on the double infinity design with a pear cut sapphire. The style is called reverse cradle, which means when we get our bands mine will fit inside my engagement ring, so I won't have a pile of jewelry on my finger. It's simplistic and beautiful and I can't stop looking at it :)
So from here on out my blog updates will probably be wedding related, and then I'll be talking about our epic move to Oklahoma (once I have internet again). We're going to attempt to register to let people know what we need but so far we haven't made much progress. Ahh it's so crazy! My new life is on the very edge of beginning.

I Still Think Anout It

This last year has been crazy. So much has happened. And if I think about high school, and what's happened since then, it's even crazier.
I miss people I don't talk to anymore. Even if they were only in my life for a brief period of time. I never really forget anyone. Ever. There's always a part of them with me, or something that reminds me of them. A song, a bracelet, even a single word.
I think about my past a lot. Too much. I've said this before. I consider it a big flaw of mine because it's so much harder to let things go and they eat at me until I do something about it. Which is why this last year I've done my best to make amends with a few people to put my mind at ease. I'm not done yet, but I'm hesitant to finish.
It's weird to think that this time last year Michael and I weren't technically together. And I wasn't sure if we'd fix it. It wasn't for very long so we kind of just pretend it never happened. But I still think about how that brief time period was. I had absolutely no idea what to do with myself. I sort of went crazy.

My brain kind of split into different voices that wanted different things. I had to really think about things and talk myself through them but in some cases I completely ignored them and did things impulsively.
It was a dark time for my brain. It doesn't seem like that long ago but I realized the other day it's been a little over a year.
I still wasn't totally in one piece when Michael left for bootcamp. I had sort of slid back into clingy-girlfriend-mode (not as hardcore as before) but I firmly believe that you can't be a clingy girlfriend across long distance. That's just not cool.
So I had to reprogram myself again. And I'm doing much better. But I know I've found the right person for me because he's loved me through all of it. I can hardly wrap my head around that. Here's some cliche gay stuff that I've found to be very very true:
-People won't like you if you don't like yourself.
-Depression is real, and it does hurt, and not just you.
-Love is greater than distance.
-Sleep on it.
-Everything will sort itself out one way or the other.
-Remember to breathe.
-People don't necessarily change, but they can improve.
-Sometimes the best thing to do about a problem is nothing.
 -Don't stop believing/dreaming/hoping
-Keep moving forward.
...And other sayings and stuff. I've had to learn things the hard way and teach myself but that seems to be the only way. That's what works for me. As long as I keep reminding myself of the progress I've made I hope not to forget it. Ever.

A Game Review: Just Dance 3

Ordinarily I try to avoid "that game that everyone is playing" (it's the hipster in me) but in the last few months I've let go of a lot of my judgmental side and it's let me enjoy a lot more. (Including terrible movies.)
I played Just Dance 2 at a party after I'd had a few drinks and ended up laughing a lot as well as breaking a sweat. There was no tutorial as far as I knew, and there is none on JD3 (though it's the third one, so that could be why). I was simply thrown into the chaos of learning some very energetic dance moves and looking like an absolute fool while doing so.
The reason I decided to invest in the newest in this series is it's an arcade style game, and has no plot and therefore I am not missing anything but playlists in skipping straight to the third installment. Also, I was looking for a new way to exercise. Even after I stuck to Wii Fit Plus for a solid three months, every single day, it was fun but my body adjusted, and it wasn't enough. I wanted a silly new game that would get me moving, even if it meant sacrificing my dignity.
The playlist is mostly what you would expect. There's several of the "latest hits" but also a few songs I've never heard and a few I was really glad to see, so it's a good mix. As you go along the list they get increasingly active, and after just one song from the middle of the list I was already sweating. So that's great! It feels silly so you have to be able to laugh at yourself but if you really go for it some serious calories can be burned.
I'm really looking forward to getting friends involved. It's excellent for a solo work out but I'm betting it would make a great party game, seeing as that's where I first discovered the series. I'm already hungry for more songs though. It's a fairly long list and of course you unlock a few more and some extra modes as you play, but it still doesn't feel like enough. However, even when I say "meh" to a song on the list, and make myself play it anyway, it turns out it's fun once you start moving to it and just embrace it.
All in all I'd recommend it for anyone looking to be active without leaving the house (because personally, I can't stand public gyms/being around strangers to exercise). And once it starts getting colder, like it has been, who wants to go outside anyway? I feel a whole lot less guilty about how lazy I usually am if I incorporate this game into my routine.

Stuff and Things

Slimming new dress, paw prints on my car, new Stitch mug, smiley Mikey.

I've been spoiled these last two weeks. My grandma took me shopping and bought me some new clothes and a new tape deck for my car, and took me out for lots of food, and then gave me my Christmas money early. So I couldn't help it, I went out and spent a bunch of it. New stuff is fun and it's really nice to have. I was especially happy to find those fingerless fold over mittens because I'd had a pair a few years ago and lost one of them. They're fantastic.
Sometimes I'm really afraid to spend money but I've noticed if I spend it in the company of friends or for someone else, it finds a way to get back to me. So I try not to worry about it, because it's replaceable, and times with friends and family are not. If I believe in this it works out really well.
I had an adventure at the Arrowhead mall with Deroy, and did some online shopping when I got home, too. Waiting for things to come in the mail is so exciting.
Speaking of waiting for things, Michael's next visit is weeks away, marking a snowballing of events I am being purposefully vague about until everything is all set and announced. I am at the edge of my seat freaking out and wanting school to be over and trying to plan things, but in general walking around feeling very very happy.
Life is good.

Happy November

Panty and Stocking

I'm honestly just glad October is over. I love Halloween, it's probably my favorite holiday, but there are bigger and better things waiting for me this year.
It was still a good week(end). My grandma (on my dads side) was in town and we went out to dinner a lot and she took me shopping, and then I went to Prescott, so it was certainly the best week I've had in a while.
I was actually excited that I was shivering at night, not to mention I could see the stars, too. I got to wear long pants and a hoodie and have some silly times.
I must admit, however, that I went home the day before Halloween and spent my holiday inside on Tumblr. I didn't even eat candy, which is pretty fucked up for me. Maybe I'll buy some discount candy today.
It just wasn't that important to me this year. I had a kickass costume that I made sure I wore, no doubt, and I'll most likely be wearing it or a variation of it next year too. All that mattered was that I got to hang out with Serra and see some familiar faces. Prescott actually makes me a little sad now. The memories and nostalgia when I visit is overwhelming. So maybe it's good I'm in Phoenix so I'm not so distracted by those feelings.
In a few weeks I'll be picking up Michael from the airport again! This time I'll try to make sure we don't get lost on the way back to my dad's house. We have so much to do it's driving both of us crazy, but I'll talk more about that later.
In the meantime, heres to:
♦hot drinks
♦warm food
♦big jackets
♦sweaters
♦cold noses
♦the first snow
♦getting cozy under blankets
♦getting inside after a cold drive
♦camp fires, fireplaces and the like
♦cuddling for warmth
♦sleeping bags
♦crunchy leaves and pine trees
♦christmas decorations
♦the smell of cookies in the oven
♦slow cooked stew
♦staying in playing games
...and lots more :)