First Photo Shoot With Julio Perez: Favorites

Serious Catch Up Day

Technically, it's day twenty two of the photo challenge from where I started. FAIL. Feck. SO. Here goes:

Day Thirteen: A Photo Of One Of Your Favorite Movies

 

Charlie Bartlett: I just think you're missing the big picture.
Kip Crombwell: What big picture?
Charlie Bartlett: The universe.
Kip Crombwell: What about the universe?
Charlie Bartlett: Well, the universe is a pretty big place.
Kip Crombwell: Yea. It's infinite, theoretically.
Charlie Bartlett: Right, which means there's probably life on other planets.
Kip Crombwell: Not life like we think, but yeah. Probably at least single-cell organisms.
Charlie Bartlett: Well, see, that's my whole point. I mean you could've been born a single cell organism on the planet Zortex. In fact, given the odds, it's probably more likely, but you weren't. You we're born a human being. And not just any human being in the history of human beings, but a human being that gets to be alive today. That gets to listen to all kinds of music, that gets to eat food from every culture, that gets to download porn off the internet. So really, you have everything to live for.
[pause]
Charlie Bartlett: Do you feel better?
Kip Crombwell: Not really. 


Day Fourteen: A Photo of Your Best Friend(s)

 

 My womens <3

Day Fifteen: A Photo Of You and a Family Member

 Cousins!

Day Sixteen: A Photo From Your Childhood
I don't really have one of these on my computer. If you count childhood as being under eighteen, then the last picture could count haha. I suppose young adulthood is different though...Whatever, I fail. On to the next day.

Day Seventeen: A Photo of Something That Has Changed Your Life

 This is my Dad's second wife, (now divorced) and her son Scott. I love them both and they were once a major part of my life. Not being part of their family was a big and sudden change. I do my best to stay in touch with them to this day.

Day Eighteen: A Photo Of Your Town

 The view from The Resort window :)

Day Nineteen: A Photo That Makes You Laugh

Shh. Don't tell my mother I put this up. I just love this. These are the memories I want to keep when they're all I have left.

Day Twenty: A Photo Of Something You Ate Today
Er, I don't know why this is necessary. I had a Spicy Italian sammich from Subway, do you really gotta see a picture of it? Look it up on Google or go buy one yourself! They're delicious.

Day Twenty-One: A Photo of Someone You Find Attractive
Too easy.

I'm proud that I took this picture.

Day Twenty-Two: A Photo That You Associate a Good Memory With.

 This photo makes no sense at first. BUT, see the kid in the white shirt in the background? He's the stutterer I punched in the face when I told him to shut up or I'd punch him. It's my all time favorite story to tell, and I always feel like a badass when I think about it. The girl in the picture is Stef, and the boy she's wrestling is a friend of hers whos pretty damn chill. But seriously. Kid in the white. His name is Andy. He's a dumbass.

And that's that! Hot damn. :)

Major Update

Okay. Shit.

I haven't had the heart to blog and keep up with things the last seven days. Nothing was really going on. I was depressed but I wasn't letting it stop me from living.

And it was like the moment I accepted the way things were and expected nothing more the universe decided to stop fucking with me. "Just kidding," it said, "Sorry about that, I'm done now."

See, I try really hard not to be optimistic. That way I'm not disappointed when I get my hopes up and they're crushed with the power of pain. My best friend tried to feed me optimism and I refused it. But I didn't know what to tell myself. One day I was strong, I didn't need the past, I could move on with my life. The next day I just wanted to rewind time and stay there.

Finally I just gave up. "Never gonna happen" was my new mantra. It got kind of difficult, but I said I was gonna do it. It was pretty sad. This whole week has been a mess. Funeral, getting back together with boyfriend, wedding. I've just been crying all week, whether I was happy or sad. Fuckin' A.

I said I wasn't going to initiate anything, and I didn't. I didn't want anything to be my idea, which is what made me so happy when he started showing signs of wanting to be close again.

To make a long story short, he said everything I'd been wanting to hear. I could not fucking believe it, but I've never felt such relief. These last two months without him have just been...confusing. I thought I was kidding myself, thinking I couldn't live without someone. And him being in the army is going to be really really tough. But, his words: "We can do this."

I am so happy and so proud. 

I think it's for good. I'm only a little hesitant to say that. I'm just way happy. I suppose we needed it, because at least now we can take advantage of every moment, since he isn't going to be around all the time. No more bad dreams, no more explosive emotions, no more confusion. Thank God, if said God exists.

And I'm about eight days behind the photo challenge. I'll see if I can catch up, but it's gonna be a busy week. Work and Christmas. Phew. We'll see.

Gah! ^^

One of Those Days

One of those so-lame-it's-good 80's/90's anthems by Erasure:



I don't know where anything ends and where it begins anymore.

Today, I learned that someone I used to know died at basic training for the military. His name was Cameron, and he was one of those guys no one doesn't like. Everyone liked Cameron. From what I'm told an RV or something he was in exploded. They found his tags and he's missing. And I can't think of why a boy like him would have to die.
But when I talked to my mom about it she said maybe he had fulfilled his purpose already. He was one of those people everyone likes. We should all be like that. And maybe that's all he had to tell us.

But...

Even before that, I've felt pretty terrible all day. And that sort of pushed me over the edge. Everything kinda came pouring out, and I feel like watching Across the Universe and crying just to cry. It's just one of those days. The news about Cameron made me worry about other things. Other people I know going to basic, or in the military. It was a freak accident, I know. But...

Agh, I shouldn't. I'm not gonna let my heart bleed all over a blog. That's lame.

I'm just sad today.

More Catching Up

I'm not keeping up with this photo challenge. Looks like it's time for day nine and ten.

Day Nine: A Photo Of You As a Baby

This made me realize I had no pictures of myself as a baby on the internet. My mom hasn't even uploaded any. But I guess they're mostly tangible pictures so this would call for a scanner, a thing we do not own.
Anyway, I had to do that lame take a picture of a picture thing, and if you've spent enough time in my hallway you've seen this before.

Drooly Face McGee is my brother, of course. I was almost four here, and probably would've gotten mad if you called me a baby. But obviously, the older you get the more baby-like an age like that gets. Also, this proves how much Declan looks like Kyle. Weirdness.

Day Ten: Any Photo You Like For Any Reason

 Random and I laughing while trying to sing a song together, and failing. I could've picked a lot of pictures, but I saw Random today and this was the first thing I thought of when I went to look for a photo. Pre-Ninetails tattoo. Weird.

Oops

Got a little behind on the photo challenge, so I'll be posting day seven and eight today.

Day Seven: A Photo of Something You Stand For

Being Unique

 If your body is a temple, why not decorate it? I think body mods are a right, and more people should accept them. I mean, I wish I could dye my hair blue and not get fired from work, but I know I would. So I'm doing as much as I can get away with, which for now is tattoos. 

Day Eight: A Photo Of Something You Enjoy Doing

My first instinct is to be really obscene with this, but I won't. That's all I have to say and you know what I'm talking about anyway. So here's something else: 

Smokin' Hookah

I reeeeally really want to buy my own hookah. If it weren't for the time of year I might, but I would like to get gifts for other people before I get stuff for myself. I'm only about half done with my Christmas shopping. This website has some really cool hookahs. I'm keeping an eye out for a blue two hoser, with some cool shisha flavors and such. It's definitely one of my favorite things to do and I wish I had my own. 

Day Six

This one is kind of hard for me, since obviously I would've done this photo challenge a lot differently a couple months ago, if you catch my drift. But hell, I'll stick with the basics.

Today I need a photo of someone I love. Technically I should've done this twenty two minutes ago, because now it's day seven. I'll do that next. Or just later, since I'm so so tired.

My brother

My relationship with my brother has changed drastically over the years. It's been the most dramatic thing ever, really, when you look at it. I used to pretty much beat his ass all the time over stupid shit, and get really pissed off at my parents for giving him his way and telling me off. I said I hated him. 

But as time progressed things changed. He started to like some pretty good music, and then he started playing it. At first, it was almost unbearable, as you can imagine. When people are first learning to play an instrument (myself included) it kinda sounds like a dying animal. 

But now he's actually really good. And he makes me laugh, so fucking hard sometimes. He's earned a place in my best friends quote book. Suddenly he's this huge kid, no longer my "little" brother. He's getting his license. He's...well he's dealing with some really big responsibilities way beyond his normal capacity. In other words, I admire him. Lately he's really needed to know that his family still loves him, myself included. No matter what.

Day Five: A Photo That Makes You Laugh

This is Gogo Bomango. I currently share Gogo's opinion on babies. But I suppose it won't always be that way. (I've been busy putting as many of the Bomango comics on my ipod as possible, which really is all of them since I have all the space in ze world!)
Anyway I suppose this could count as my day five photo, but here's a strip I find a lot funnier: 

The photos I put up for "photo that makes you happy" day also make me laugh, so those too. I have more of them but I would like to stick to the Gogo theme :)

In other news, I got a new contacts prescription, which seems like totally mundane information, but not to me! Since I'm 19 I have no health insurance, and my mom has only had it off and on, which means I've been putting off going to the eye doctor for, oh, two or three years. And my eyes were getting worse by the day, it seemed. My left contact was hardly making a difference. So FINALLY I asked my dad to take me, because I knew I couldn't afford it. I figured it was gonna be pretty bad.
And I was right. I had to get a stronger prescription in both eyes, but not the same prescription. And my left eye is apparently shaped so funny I had to get a toric lense, or a weighted lense, to correct it. Soo differing prescriptions plus special lense equals....cha-ching. I'm turning into a daddy's girl way late, but my dad didn't blink spending too many hundred dollars on my eyeballs. It was way awesome, and I'm so so grateful. I can't even fathom the amount of money my family spent on me this weekend. It makes me dizzy.

Enough of that. Have some more Bomango!

A Break

I'm way ready for one. I'm in between doing psych quizzes at the mo'. It's been an up and down kind of day, so I'm just gonna post a bunch of stuff :)



Also, I'll start by saying my grandparents (on my dad's side) live in Mexico. I don't see them much. So once a year they come up and spend an early Christmas with my brother and I....

Which means spending $300 or more on us. Each. And since I lost my ipod last summer I've been jonesin' for a new mp3 player. Soooo I smooth talked my way into a 64GB Ipod Touch. The newest, latest and greatest. I feel deserving of it. I'm a full time student with a job and I'm doin' pretty well. Plus, it was a gift. I didn't spend my savings, and I certainly didn't steal the money from my job or anything. *cough*

I do feel way spoiled though. I have 21gb of music, a bunch of apps, a movie and Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy on it already. There's so much it can do! It's exciting. I'm deathly afraid of breaking it. It's certainly the nicest thing I've ever owned. I have a years worth of damage coverage, a case, and a screen protector. It's mah baby. I named her Gogo Bomango, which is based off of a comic I found on DeviantArt. This is the gallery. Gogo is some kind of alien demon, and she is awesome. She spawns a clone who ends up being the exact opposite from her. Her name is Didi. Definitely check it out.

And now for day four: A Photo of a Place You'd Like To Visit

 I love Japan. I'm not sure I could handle Toyko or any of the majorly busy cities, but I'm down for pretty much the rest of it. I'd like to learn a little more of the language and figure out exactly where I'd like to go, but I'm definitely going at some point. I love everything and anything Japanese.

I should really get back to my homework now. :)

Day Three: Happy Photos

It's day three of the photo challenge, and I need: A Photo That Makes You Happy. 


Well I've got a lot of those. It's hard to pick just one. But, what comes to mind is a series of pictures I took with my family on Thanksgiving. So here it is:

 

From left to right: My cousin Melanie, my brother Kyle, Me, and my cousin Julie.

This picture is hilarious. The explanation of my face? The red cup. I had a few. My cousins and I always get super silly when we get together and it really makes me happy. A good majority of the pictures we took that night were hilarious, and for good measure, I'm putting up a few more of them.

I love my family so much. They're all fantastic. Just good, pure hearted people who will always be there for each other. Laughing with them is one of my top favorite things to do. Ever.

Hermit

I don't feel like going anywhere or doing anything. I'm staying in my pajamas as long as possible. I'd so love it if I could just quit today and play Epic Mickey and Resident Evil 4 and Rune Factory aaaalll day. Epic Mickey is epic, by the way. I'm a little retarded at video games and I get frustrated easily, but it's really pretty and I dig the concepts. Check it:



It's pretty sweet. Unfortunately I have stuff to do today, like go to Creative Writing (I've never once considered ditching this class, because it's amazing) and taking my test in Spanish. I'm thinking I may play Epic Mickey while I can, though.

Photo Challenge!

Day Two: A Photo of Yourself at Least a Year Ago

 
Senior Year, I believe. Super short hair!

Reach Out and Rant to Someone

I should really be finishing my spanish blog right now. I'm supposed to write about what I want my life to be like in the future. A couple months ago I would've said one thing. Now everything is different.

I know I said I'd try not to write anything too depressing, so I won't totally delve into how I'm feeling today but it ain't the greatest. I'm still carrying a lot of weight in my chest and today it was really bringing me down. I'm pretty sick of it. I used to let that kind of weight totally control me and I'd take it out on people, but now I think I do a much better job at managing it.

I tried really hard to distract myself today from the feeling I'm carrying. Work helped a lot, since I work with my best friend Deroy, and telling her things always makes me feel better. Then my friend Stef from spanish came over and we always end up laughing about something and I enjoy that a lot.

But now she's not here. No one's here, really. My mom's asleep. I feel suspended in the night like I'm the only person in the world. Like even if I reached out to someone no one would answer. The silence is loud.

There's too much on my mind and I can't put it here for several obvious reasons.

This feeling brings out the angsty poet in me.  I write stupid poems in prose or rhyme that just make me sound pretentious and sad. Poems about the past, however recent it may be. I look at myself and think "God, you're a fag. Get over yourself. You'll be fine."

I can't let this bring me down. I won't. I have a life to live. I have things to look forward to. Such as....

1) Moving. Somehow, somewhere, and hopefully by next August. But this gets complicated, because I have to figure out:
a) Flagstaff or Phoenix?
b)Who will I live with?
c)Where will I work?
d)Will a University even take me by then and
e) what classes will I take?

I look forward to little things like

2) Getting a dog. I want one sooo badly. A Welch Corgi or a Shiba Inu. They're the perfect size and they're so damn cute. And taking care of an animal would be good for me. I just worry about not having enough time for the little guy if I'm working and going to school. This also means I'd have to live somewhere that would allow me to have one. Maybe it would prepare me for eventually...

3) "Settling down." I've finally accepted the fact that I want to get married. I'm just terrified of divorce, is all. I never want it to happen to me. Both of my parents have been divorced (twice) and it's terrible even from the outside perspective. I've realized I need someone who grounds me, will change with me, won't hold me back, and most importantly will allow me to be a little dramatic sometimes without making a big deal out of it.

 "Don't take away my ability to have a tantrum."

If I ever hear the word "mellow" or the phrase "calm down" again, heads will fucking roll. Fine, I get angry at stupid stuff. If my computer is too slow and it's a bad day I'll punch something. I might stomp around or use inanimate objects with a little more force than necessary. Best thing to do is to let me go through the process and sit back and wait for it to go away, because it will. But if you try to stop me bad things will happen to your children and your children's children. Forever.

Anyway. This is a terrible segway to:

4) Having children. After the career, after the dog, after the getting of the married. I know realistically life doesn't ever go the way you want it to, so I'm probably being pretty silly hoping for everything to go in exactly that order. I need to grow up a little more and create an environment I feel comfortable raising kids in. I couldn't stand it if say, I got pregnant out of nowhere, had no job and was living in a small place mooching off of everyone. *cough*

Some people just shouldn't reproduce. I really want it to be the right time. Wanting it doesn't mean it'll happen like that, though. I know that.

I feel a big change coming on. I feel like something important is going to happen in the next few years. It's going to be intense. The change that has happened recently has made me realize just how much there must be waiting for me out there. I have so much to do. I want to travel before the whole kids thing. I need to go to a concert, maybe even a rave, just to say I did. I want to do a lot of things. 

I just want someone to do these things with.

I think I'll try this photo challenge thing. Might be hard on some days...

Day One: A Photo of You Today