What If?

So the very last thing on the Frankenstein Blog Challenge I set up for myself forever ago is "Things that make you think what if I had ___ instead of ___?"

This is pretty intense and I've put it off for a long time. I'd also like to find a new blog challenge. I was hoping I'd find it by now but I've been too distracted.

The thing is, even though I think about the past a lot (too much for one person) I don't want to change it. I don't dwell on what could've happened or what I should've done, because things turned out this way for a reason. If anything different had happened in my life I wouldn't be where or who I am today. I just try to analyze the past and learn more from it. I try to understand other people who are no longer in my life. I get curious about what happened when I wasn't around, too. I'm really nosy.

But if I had to hypothetically put some questions out there, I guess I have a few I could ponder.

1. What if I had dated different people in high school? 
I mean I can't really see it, I don't know who else I would've dated, but things could've been pretty different if I'd avoided a certain crowd my freshmen year. I lost touch with my long term friends because of the temporary new ones. I picked up bad habits. I wasn't nice to people. I fell in love with anyone who was around long enough because I saw the good in every body and I wanted to bring it out or fix them or something. If I could go back I'd give myself a stern talking to before high school. Not clues, just inspiring words.
2. What if I didn't try so hard to be friends with people I wasn't meant to be friends with?
I don't know what it was but I had some friends that not very deep down I knew I wasn't meant to hang around. I tried really hard to impress them or be there for them or share things with them and I only got burned. This happened repeatedly all through high school. I changed myself trying to be someone they would like, and when I finally stopped they didn't like me anymore. I wonder what kind of friendships I could've had if I had been true to myself, or if I was meant to have many friendships at all.
3.What if I had accepted and embraced who I was entirely earlier on instead of later?
I could've been more assertive, more confident, I would've said those things I choked down. I would've been kinder, I would've known what I wanted, I wouldn't have let things get to me. I would've taken better care of myself and not tried so hard to please the people I could never please. Half the time in high school I didn't know what I was doing or saying until someone judged me for it. I was still trying on new personalities and saying things I knew I wouldn't actually say but seemed to fit at the time. If I had had myself all figured out by high school I would've made different choices.

But it's okay. If given the chance to go back I wouldn't. I've said and done things I'm embarrassed of and some memories still haunt me at night when I'm trying to sleep. But it's said and done and over with, and the life I have now is the one I'm meant to have, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.