Takin' My Time

Since I put this challenge together, I decided to not freak out and try to post every day, but instead be chill and do it whenever the hell I want, which in fact has something to do with Day 5: Something You've Learned

One of the big things I've learned in the last two or three years is to slow down. With an anxiety disorder it sometimes feels like everything is life and death. Everything is in fast forward. Twenty minutes feels like two and you feel like you're going to be late all the time. Crossing the street feels like suicide; cars that are far away seem like they'll be in your face in seconds. Little things turn into big things, and you feel like you're on some terrible drug high.

At least, that's how I feel sometimes.

So in the last couple years I've learned how to take a deep breath and get it under control. Mostly. Sometimes I still freak out over stupid things. Telling me to calm down does nothing, however, but just makes it worse because it just makes me think about how I can't seem to calm down. It's just something I have to deal with on my own.

I've started to realize that time is what you make of it. You can slow down and enjoy it, try to realize how much can be done in just an hour and make the most of it, or freak out as though any second the day will be over and you have to go, go, go. Maybe it's the American in me, my urge for instant gratification, but I'm doing my best to change it. In every other country time doesn't loom over you. Restaurants are open late, and there's nap time and drive throughs aren't on every corner. So what's with the U.S.?

Right now the world is kind of making me feel like I can't do this. April is approaching way way too fast. As of then, life is a snowball of change rolling down a hill until I "settle down" in Phoenix. I have a few options: keep track of time like a freak; count days and such, or pretend time doesn't exist altogether until, before I know it, a year has gone by. I'm really biting my nails about it, if you know what I mean.

Either way, I think slowing down is much better than going too fast. You miss things. Say yes to opportunities to enjoy yourself, and don't worry so much about work or school, because it's the experiences and the people that matter the most, not your GPA or your job status.

That's what I've learned, anyway.