Day 10: Childhood Things

Happy March, by the way. This month is my Dad's and Grandpa's birthday (on the same day!) and Michael and I are hosting a big St. Patrick's Day party and having pretty much everyone we know here over. In the back of my mind though, it'll feel really strange because I really want to be home in Prescott, back in time at the Lawler apartments that no longer exist, chugging some awful beer to Flogging Molly and watching everyone dance around like fools.
Sigh.
Anyway, on to Day 10 of my blog challenge: My Childhood.

My brother and I

When I was really really little my mom says I was super happy and had no trouble making friends. As I got older, though, for some reason I developed this caution of the world and became really quiet and read a lot of books. Unless I was around my friends, of course. Then I turned into a sugar crazed screaming spaz.

My favorite movie was between The Lion King and Snow White; I had a Snow White doll I carried everywhere (it's still at my mom's house, old and worn with little girl love), and I remember reading The Wizard of Oz books with my mom, Goosebumps and Nancy Drew.
We went to my Grandparents for every occasion, and they still live in the same house to this day. My parents divorced with I was about four and my mom moved my brother and I to Prescott, where I spent 17 years of my life in the same house, in the same room.
I went to my dad's just about every weekend (in Phoenix) but as I got older I started missing a lot of sleepovers and parties because duh, the weekends are when kids in school get together to do stuff. I started to get really moody and threw a lot of fits because once I hit eleven I started puberty and suddenly had absolutely no idea how to be a human successfully.
Joy.
I read a lot and I wrote a lot. I believed in faeries and dragons and unicorns and all that silly magical stuff so I was always writing some epic fictional story. By middle school I had a story about a dragon boy who kidnaps this girl that was like 70 pages long. I can't even do that nowadays. It was crazy.
Unfortunately once under the grip of womanhood I really stopped knowing how to interact with most kids my age and they weren't very nice to me. I have a lot of bad memories from about age seven to age twelve. Two words: The Bus. Enough said.
It wasn't all bad. I had a vivid imagination and enough friends to make me feel less weird. I actually had a lot of drive to do well and was always working on the things I knew I was good at. Somewhere along the way I lost that motivation and in my adult years find myself in a terrible rut wishing I could get in touch with this childhood motivation I used to have.

I collected Breyer Horses, polished rocks, Barbie dolls that represented other countries and once I memorized my times tables my dad bought me my first Game Boy: A teal Game Boy Color. I got my first game, Pokemon Yellow, and haven't stopped playing Pokemon since.
I loved summer. Especially pool parties. I loved camping, even though with my mom and then stepdad it wasn't the greatest experience. When my dad was married to his second wife I had two step brothers, and we used to go to Greer a few winters in a row and I'd ski, and my brothers would snowboard.
Some days were really good. I think some of my favorite memories are from 5th grade. I ran like crazy (something I hate to do now), hung out with Stewart, and had passion for a lot of things that I don't anymore. I started playing the violin. Everything was so innocent and fresh.
I feel like I knew more of what I was doing then than I do now. Life was structured. I can't deny that I miss it. But the way my teenage years went I'm sort of surprised I came out alive and more functional than ever. It was pretty rough. I pissed off a lot of people because I had no idea what I wanted or how to act.
Now I'm just sort of floating, waiting for things to make sense but they never do. Some days it seems like everything went by so fast, and I don't expect to see a 20 year old version of myself in the mirror. I have my own life, no curfew or groundings or recess. I'm married and I don't live in Arizona. It's so weird.
I'm sure my adult years have a ton in store, definitely more than my childhood did. It's been different and a little jarring at times as it is. I'm just taking it one day at a time.