Goals

So it's been a strange last couple weeks. I probably would have posted more if I'd brought my computer to Emily's, where I've spent pretty much the last two weeks. I think I've slept in my own bed maybe three times in the last month, after the snow storm and watching Emily's house with Mikey. It's been pretty weird. I realized the other night I've been wanting to be alone for one reason and one reason only: to write. In fact it's been driving me a little insane. When I have no outlet and my thoughts build up unnoticed I kind of shut down, don't talk as much, and can get emotional. So while I have my chance I'm going to post several blogs today to get it all out of my system.

It's 2011, which freaks me out. I've actually put off a "New Years" blog on purpose. I'm terrified of the future. I'm superstitious about 2012, and scared of what's going to happen if the world doesn't end anyway. Time is passing too quickly, and a very unpleasant chunk of my life is approaching. First of all, this Michael going into the army thing. I've chosen a difficult path in life, something I do pretty often, but if I can get through it it'll all be worth it. I'm looking forward to the positive things, like writing letters, which I'm damn good at, but in general really don't like the idea of him being gone for so long. This next year will be almost entirely free for me to work on myself, so I'm making a list of what I'd like to do.

1) Stay in Shape
       I'll be miserable in the Phoenix heat, I can tell you that right now. If I don't exercise I might just sweat undesired weight off. But I'd really like to build some serious muscle, maybe even take some kind of martial arts class if I can afford it. I'd also like to take a gun safety class and learn how to shoot. I feel like having a boyfriend in the army should mean being a badass. I don't want him to come home to a fat lump, that's for sure. And I'd like to feel good about myself, that's the important part.

2) Learn How to Make a Meal
      From mostly or entirely scratch, I'd like to get into cooking. My dad lives on a steady diet of ramen and hot pockets and breakfast cereal, which is not something I want to get into. I'm hoping to introduce him to some tastier foods, like Vindaloo and other Eastern cuisine, which can be pretty easy to make.

3) Do Well In School
     I'm shooting for counseling as a career. Marriage, Family, or Youth. I've been taking a variety of social science classes here in Prescott just to have a well rounded start. I want to get a sharp direction going towards a career in this next year and know for sure what I'm doing.

4) Not Get Too Depressed
     I'm not gonna lie, it's not gonna be easy. Alone in a big city with the parent I've spent much less time with in my life, no Michael, and only Chris and Serra to socialize with. I see a lot of lonely days ahead. What I need to do is distract myself as much as possible with happy things. Things that make me laugh, video games...and I think I'll even tan while I'm there. *gasp* Woo, skin cancer here I come! No really, I just think that sunlight might help. At least I'm not stuck in Alaska or some shit waiting. I'd kill myself.

Off the top of my head, those are the main things I've come up with. Overall I'd just like to be able to survive in Phoenix and keep my head up.