Hope

H – Hope

36. Love – real or not?

It's definitely real but it comes in all kinds of forms. Though I think real love lasts. It's obvious when it's real. There's no delusion about it. 

It's not real when you're forcing it.

It's not real if you doubt it at all.

If it is, you'll know it.  
37. Are you a pessimist or an optimist?

Pessimist. Especially lately, because every time I try to be optimistic I'm let down. Being pessimistic, you can be pleasantly surprised when things finally turn out well.
38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way?

I think on a smaller scale, actions definitely have consequences. But I also firmly believe that things happen for a reason and no matter what you do you will eventually end up where you're meant to be in the long run.
39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive?

Yes. I at least really really want to think so.
40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying?

 I'll answer this with a note to myself.

Hey you,

  Remember that no darkness lasts forever. Remember telling this to a downtrodden teenager in high school after you'd already graduated, and how much he believed in you. Take your own advice. Remember when things were okay, but don't be upset that that's not how they are now, look forward to the fact that they can be that way again. You won't always be stuck here. Things change whether you like it or not, you know this. There's more change ahead and it has the potential to be really really good for you, so hang in there. You have learned things here, no matter what it feels like. Taking care of animals, cleaning house, cooking meals, these are things you never really did before. Think about the little things. Remember that they add up. Keep appreciating what you have the ability to appreciate, it's probably the best thing you can do right now. Stop focusing on what everyone must think of you. Keep getting out of bed every day. Keep exercising. Eventually, life will find a way to get you out of here because you are not meant to stay here and you know it. 

  It really will be okay.