Clarifications

Another one of my .gifs

Recently I caught wind of some of the gossip going around at home, and the only thing I know to do about it is write, so I wanted to vent here without sharing too much information.
Here are some words I'm told describe me:
-entitled
-selfish
-immature
-dramatic
-obsessed
-mooch
So. That's very charming, thank you. I think my least favorite thing about this situation is that nobody ever says anything to my face or asks me why I act a certain way. I'm judged purely by my actions and a lot of other things seem to go unnoticed. Do something wrong, everyone remembers. Do something right, no one does. But again, no one talks to me. Apparently they're afraid that I'm going to turn into a banshee and bite their heads off. Sorry I've given that impression.
I've never forced Michael to do anything. I'm not the devil on his shoulder convincing him to do something he doesn't want to do, turning him against everyone. He's doing what he wants to do and (this will sound bitchy) certain folks can't seem to get it through their heads that that's having a future with yours truly. Everything seems to be my fault. I'm some sort of obsessive temptress.
May I kindly remind all of you that I did not tell him to join the army, I did not expect him to, and with or without me he'd be miles and miles away. I have also never seen myself as "entitled" to anything, because whenever anyone sees me "taking what I want" I'm doing so because I asked Michael multiple times if it was alright. It's very likely that I'm worried and sweating inside that I'm doing the wrong thing and being judged for it. Apparently this is correct.
I'd like to address the immaturity comment. Michael and I had a lot of issues last year but I'm very aware that I had most of them. The reason for this is because we didn't know where our relationship was going. He never reassured me of anything and showed less and less interest in my feelings the more I pushed them onto him. I got angry when he didn't do something I wanted or expected, because I was terrified that everyone was right and he was just getting bored with me and I couldn't see my life without him. The issues were deeper than just "I was being immature," but I can see why people would assume so. Our problems went both ways more than once, but I think the popular opinion, once again, is that it was all me.
I'm also immature (according to others), as in not an adult, because of my living situation. My mother leans on people a lot, and so people see me doing the same thing, despite the fact that I went to school full time and held a job for a year at the same time. I wanted to get away from Prescott and when I told my dad he offered me a place to live. I already had a room here. And before Michael asked me to live with him my plan was to find a job and keep going to school, not necessarily in that order. I'm not doing well at getting a job so far but I am going to school full time.
I don't want to live with friends or roommates. Maybe I'm "taking the easy way out" going from one parent to another and skipping what is considered an important step, but I've seen so many friends have problems with roommates it doesn't seem worth it to me. People are no longer friends after living with each other. I don't mind skipping the stress and heartache of it because frankly, I'd rather not deal with it.
And then Michael asked me to live with him. I was really excited because before he joined he never wanted to even consider it. Though right before he left we had started tentatively mentioning our future. I've just been along for the ride. Just yesterday Michael said "the sooner the better" and I think if I was as immature as everyone says I am I'd drop out of school and move next week and never go back to school or work.
But it's not like that. Does anyone stop to ask me about it? No, certainly not. Because it's more fun to sit around and talk about it and wait till I hear it from someone else. That's great, really.
No one's perfect. It's something people have to be reminded of all the time. Michael and I just want to be together. We love each other and I would never screw him over.
You're thinking "you say that now but just wait" aren't you?
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
I miss him. I'm not the only one and I'm not the most important one, either. I can't help that he texts me in the morning, or calls me before he goes to bed, and talks to me about his problems. It's like he trusts me and I'm his best friend or something, who would've thought? And we share those feelings, and that's why we want to get married. We see past all the bad stuff and imperfections and we see an opportunity to grow together. I've known him for seven years now. That's almost half my life. We've dated for two. And some people think it's still too soon.
I know people are just afraid of losing him. But it's not to me; he'd still be in the Army if we weren't together. I promise I'm not hiding him in my closet and making it look like he's a soldier. I didn't actually think we'd do as well as we have. But seriously, it goes both ways and I'm perfectly willing to talk about it. I think many of the "concerns" expressed have a lot to do with people's insecurities and just the fact that he's gone. Frankly, I thought I'd either be "just the girlfriend" for a long time or he'd dump me. I don't have the greatest self esteem. But Michael has this way of making me feel better, like everything I've ever thought negatively about myself is ridiculous. And he can tell me things he's never told anyone.
The last thing I want to do is use him as some kind of financial crutch, and the very very last thing I'd ever never do is cheat on him. I find both notions preposterous. But no one knows I feel that way because they've never asked. So I don't know how else to handle this. Technically, I probably shouldn't even know some of the things being said about me. So how would I act if I didn't know? I'd go about my business and move on with my life, which is exactly what I'm gonna do.