Facts

I've been having trouble picturing myself fitting in with a lot of the military s/os I've come across on the internet in the last few weeks. I may be wrong but there seems to be a bit of a stereotype, and I'm way way outside of it.

To any new readers out there (and I've certainly noticed my numbers jumping up in the last week or so) I just felt like sharing a few basic things about myself. It's hard to get to know new people over the internet and it's even harder to decide whether or not I'll like someone based on the stuff they put up on Tumblr or something.

1. I am of average weight and slightly above average height (5'6")
2. I wear little to no makeup, do not paint my nails and haven't dyed my hair in over two years. In other words, I keep the upkeep of my appearance simple.
3. I am no "southern belle." I may live in Arizona but I'm not a cowgirl. I prefer pine trees to cactus and barefeet or flip flops to shoes of any kind.
4. I consider listening to country music mild torture. Some of my favorite bands include Protest The Hero, Clutch, Mindless Self Indulgence and Lamb of God. I like a whole lot of other stuff tho.
5. I don't need a lot of people in my life. I'm relatively solitary. Big crowds make me nervous. Some of the alone time I've gotten I've really enjoyed. I don't cry about it all the time.
6. People don't describe me as a "nice" person and that's okay with me. I'm very upfront and I'm very honest, sometimes rude, and have a very sarcastic sense of humor. If you can appreciate that we can be great friends. When I say something like "I'll go throw water in that guys face for you" I mean it. I'll do it.
7. I appreciate video games. I just heard a story about an army wife convincing her husband to get rid of his new XBox because she "couldn't talk to him while he played" or be involved. It really pissed me off. I love playing games with Michael, or just in the same room as him.
8. I feel like I don't shove my relationship in everyone's face as much as some other girls. Like, my blog background isn't plastered with the same picture of him, and I don't go on and on about him when I write "about me" sections. He's a big part of my life, yes, but I'm also proud to be doing my own thing.

Those are the main things I can think of off the top of my head. If you want to know some weirder things I made a post about my pet peeves and OCD habits here, and here are some other facts and photos.
I really do hope to make some friends I can relate to; I'm crossing my fingers to find some chill hippies in Oklahoma, but we'll see! I need female friends I can have kind of a guy relationship with. Friends I can sit around smoking hookah with and talking about anything but our relationships for a while because we'll have more in common than military husbands. You know what I mean?

Phone Pictures

I take a lot of pictures on my (crappy) phone to send to Michael, and occasionally he sends me one, too. These are some of my favorites from the last while.
1. My hair is getting really long and I love how versatile long hair is. I found a method to roll my hair into neat looking buns through this lady. I like the two Princess Leia style buns but I also really like just one, I think it looks really classy. (And when I take it out it's all wavy and pretty.)
2. This is pretty much all I did my first day of Biological Anthropology, because introductions are boring. She's an angry space captain.
3. One of my favorite pictures of Mikey he's sent me so far. This was before he started sporting what we like to call a "molestache." He looks super creepy. I hope he gets rid of it when he visits. *hint hint*
4. Doodling any obscene words I could think of with my tri-colored pencils. I was entertained, that's all.
5. One of my cousins kittens. I don't know if they've kept all of them but they were so cute. I think it was about to pounce my phone.
6. A very pretty Arizona sunset I took a photo of outside of Harkins after seeing Rise of the Planet of the Apes with my dad (which was awesome, btw).

Military S/O Drama

"I think it’s ridiculous how young all you military “SOs” are on tumblr, and how all you talk about is forever and true love and yadda yadda. You haven’t lived long enough to know the meaning of TRUE, real, deep love. The only “SO” recognized in the military is a wife and trust me honey when your 18 year old self gets married and moves onto a base, the real wives will have nothing to do with you. I should know, I’m a military wife and I live it every day. We see girls like you all the time, too young and infatuated with the American hero they married. Let me give you some hard facts. You will be looked down upon on the base by both wives and soldiers alike. We don’t have to get to know you to know who you are, like I said we get your type all the time. Prepare yourself to be ostracized and judged. You think it’s going to be like on tumblr, one big happy supportive family but it’s not, not for you teenagers anyway. You have to remember that the majority of girls on here are just girlfriends, or even fiances. They have NO clue what it’s really like. Just being married is not enough to be considered a real military wife to us. You are still a kid, you are going to grow and change and so is your young boyfriend. You won’t be the same people as adults that you are now and most of the time, you teenagers don’t see your 5th anniversary. Like I said, I’m saying this because I know. I see it every single day. But you’re going to do what you’re going to do. Just letting you know what is to come so you aren’t blindsided. Good luck."

This is circulating Tumblr today and while it was tempting to jump in and rant with the many offended girls out there I thought I'd be slightly more private about it and take it to my blog I reserve for more words and less pictures. Apparently someone is ignorant to believe this and I don't know or understand why. Whoever this is has a serious complex and this is the kind of haughty stuck up bitch I'm afraid of running into as a new military significant other. 
For starters, no one has a right to look down on someone else because of their age. You can't just look at a young couple and scoff like that because you think they won't survive the world you're in. She doesn't know the first thing about them. This is why I do my best to curb judgement when I see young military girlfriends/wives too. For all I know, they met when they were in kindergarten and have had a mad on and off love affair their whole lives and this is their final test: surviving the military life. I don't know what their situation is. You just don't know, so you have no right to stick your nose in the air and say you do. 
Some of the best relationships sometimes come out of being impulsive. Who's to say that just because a couple rushes into a relationship they won't make it? There are so many factors around if a relationship will work or not but I'll tell you this: if both people want it to work, it will. I'll tell you about three couples I know as examples.
1. My moms parents. They met in high school, and then my grandfather joined the marines. She waited. They've been married since they were about twenty years old, and now they're both eighty. Despite being young they grew together because they wanted to, and because they were meant to. No length of distance kept them apart.
2. My dads parents. They had only been dating a few months when her parents said they didn't like him and she shouldn't see him anymore. Guess what they did? They got married. Their fiftieth anniversary is next year. They've had tough times and ridden them out because they wanted to.
3. Michael's parents. They were so young they had to wait until she was eighteen. But it's been twenty six years and they're the best team I know. They go everywhere together. 

So who is to tell someone that they'll be judged for their relationship? Who has the right to snub someone like that? You have no idea what they're been through; you may think you do just because you're living the military life too, but no one is worse or better, we're all different. Whoever wrote that bullshit is a special kind of bitch. You can't tell someone that what they're feeling is insignificant. You can't tell someone that they don't love their husband enough. That's just awful. For all you know they have a beautiful life together ahead of them. 

So let me just rewrite this, based on what I think she's trying to say. 

"I think it’s ridiculous how young all you military “SOs” are happier than me, and how all you talk about is forever and true love and yadda yadda. I married for money so why should you know the meaning of TRUE, real, deep love. The only “SO” recognized in the military is a wife and trust me honey when your 18 year old self gets married and moves onto a base, you'll know who is a big fat bitch and who you can hang out with. I should know, I’m a stuck up whore and I live it every day. We see girls like you all the time, younger than us and skinner than us and still infatuated with the American hero they married. Let me put you down so I feel better. You will be looked down upon on the base by both mean ass hoes and douchebags alike. We don’t have to get to know you to know who you are, like I said we ignorant everyday. Prepare yourself to be talked about because we're jealous. You think it’s going to be like on tumblr, one big happy supportive family but it’s not, not for us haughty adulterous bitches anyway. You have to remember that the majority of girls on here are just girlfriends, or even fiances. They have SO much ahead of them. Being just married makes us jealous that you're still happy. You are still a kid, you are going to grow and change and so is your young boyfriend. You can grow together and make it past your anniversary without cheating like I did. Like I said, I’m saying this because I know. I do it every single day. But you’re going to do what you’re going to do. Just letting you know what is to come so you aren’t blindsided. Good luck."

 Yep. That's better.

Welcome Distractions

The map for my college

So the countdown till Mikey visits is down to less than two weeks. I had my first day at the community college here yesterday and it was intense, mostly because I had to sit out in the hundred+ degree weather in between my three classes, and on most Mondays and Wednesdays I won't get home till five. It was a looonnng hot day.
One class I'm really excited about tho is Contemporary Cinema. My teacher in a man in the theatre program so naturally he's a little bit fabulous, and we get to watch movies and talk about movies and write about movies and as soon as he started explaining how the class would be I was rearing to get started. I'm really looking forward to it.
This campus is probably a good four times as big as Yavapai, maybe more, and I circled around twice trying to find a specific building. Don't even get me started on finding a parking spot. I heard a middle eastern language and Chinese from some of the people zooming around me. I had to ask for directions a couple times and apply sunscreen more than once. By the time I got to my last class I was burnt out, which isn't good, and I'll have to figure out how to fix that. I got a few compliments on my tattoos tho, and I actually felt more than a little out of place coming from a town where everyone dresses like a hippie and has at least a few tattoos. The only other tattoos I saw were either kinda skanky or they looked like prison tatttoos. And I did not understand how some people could survive wearing black shirts and pants, but I saw a lot of that too. It was over a hundred degrees. Fuck.
Still, I'm glad to be doing something even if I feel like a total alien while I'm there. I don't like the heat but I do like school. It should be interesting. Today I have just one class after that hectic day yesterday, which is nice. When I'd explained to Michael I hated sweating outside around a bunch of people I don't know and the day was long he pretty much just said "welcome to my life." So hey, I kind of know what he's going thru now.
I definitely went swimming and took a long shower when I got home and got settled. I felt really gross. Even when it cools down I'll be glad I'm not staying here.

"If I Was"

I stole this from Emily over at her blog.
I thought it was cute and kinda interesting so I decided to do it myself! Some of them I had to answer impulsively because it makes less sense the more you think about it.

• If I was a month, I would be June
• If I was a time of day, I would be sunset.
  
• If I was a direction, I would be West.
• If I was a planet, I would be Jupiter.
• If I was a piece of furniture, I would be a comfy bed.
• If I was a poet, I would be myself, since I don't relate to any poets.
• If I was a gemstone, I would be an alexandrite.
  
• If I was a tree, I would be a pine.
  
• If I was a bird, I would be a hummingbird.
• If I was a tool, I would be a wrench.
• If I was a flower, I would be a tiger lily.
• If I was a kind of season, I would be spring
  
• If I was a musical instrument, I would be a cello.
  
• If I was a word, I would be 'absolutely.'
• If I was a feeling, I would be courageous.
• If I was a fruit, I would be a mango.
  
• If I was a sound, I would be a laugh.
  
• If I was a body part, I would be hands.
• If I was an automobile, I would be a blue 1950's truck with white wheel tires.
  
• If I was a place, I would be Prescott, Arizona.
  
• If i was a jewelry, I would be a ring.
• If i was an age, I would be 28
• If i was a weapon, I would be a pocket knife.
• If i was an animal, I would be a wolf.

Things I Find Necessary For Living in Phoenix, Arizona

-Bottled water (because the water here, even filtered, tastes like concrete)
-Air conditioning 100% of the time (unfortunately my dad doesn't share this opinion; it's off 1-8pm Mon-Fri)
-A wardrobe change once a day
-tank tops
-a swimming pool in the backyard
-blogging
-stretching
-watching shows that make me laugh
-popsicles
-frozen fruit smoothies
-cold showers
-sunscreen (the spray on kind)
-cheesy movies
-getting out of town at least once a month

and:

Things That Are Not Necessary
-denim
-anything more than a sheet on the bed
-black cars with leather interiors
-hot tubs
-long sleeve shirts
-leaving the house unless I really have to
-going outside
-going outside
-going outside
 

Relationships: A Brief History of What I've Learned

1. Don't change yourself too much on purpose. Don't say you like that band they like if you really don't. Don't go to their church if you don't like religion. In general, don't do things you wouldn't really do if not under the influence of infatuation. The first few stages of love literally make you irrational because of all of the chemicals going nuts in your body. Don't let them get the best of you. Going out of your way when you're already in a relationship is one thing, but doing it for attention is another. If it's not you, don't do it.
2. "Friends with benefits" never work. Someone goes crazy, someone gets hurt, someone wants more and someone doesn't care. Either you crash and burn or you admit you're good together and call it what it is: a relationship. There will always be confusion and hesitation, despite saying things like "labels are overrated." All I've noticed is the lack of a label makes people miserable after a while. Just stop kidding yourselves.
3. Don't confuse butterflies with red flags. I learned this quick. Once upon a time butterflies/nervousness was a good thing, but if I'm so nervous around a person I can't even drive right and I feel too tense to be myself, something is wrong. If you can't decide if someone is dangerous or you want to be with them, those two should not mix and chances are that person is wrong for you. Being excited for a kiss is good. Being unsure if this person is going to hurt you in some way or not is bad.
4. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't. Some people can ignore this feeling for years. But if something doesn't feel right, if there's even a smidgeon of doubt, question it. If it's something you can fix, talk about with the person you're with, go out of your way to make it right. If it never goes away, don't stay. The right person should give you a feeling of comfortable certainty. You should never wonder where it's going or feel like you need something. Always ask, always communicate. If it can't be resolved, move on.
5. If you're looking around at other people, you probably aren't supposed to be in a relationship. If you're bored, fix it. Either take a break and satisfy your curiosity, or find a way to make things exciting again with your partner. But if you feel like something is missing so much so that you're thinking about someone else a lot, it isn't good. Don't kid yourself. A break might make you realize how good you had it, or that there's better out there.
6. Monogamy is a wonderful thing. I've heard people say things like "humans are meant to have multiple partners to populate the earth faster" and "I don't like (this gender), I just like to have sex with them." But we're given feelings of deep attachment for a reason: to stay with one person and raise a family as a team. How many people have been hurt by cheating partners? How many people have said "it's okay if we see other people" while they don't actually feel that way? It's not overrated, it's classic. It's respectful. If you can't trust someone, then don't make yourself insane, find someone else. The right person will be everything you need.
7. Relationships are kind of selfish but that's okay. Yeah, it's about what you want and what you need and finding someone you're willing to spend a lot of time with (even the rest of your life) takes a lot of personal growth and selfish questions. But once you're satisfied it can also be really amazing being selfless and making sure the other person is happy, too. Keep the balance between the two of you. When you enjoy making sacrifices as long as the other person is smiling, it's a really really good thing.
8. Don't ever let someone mistreat you because you "love" them. Stand up for yourself. Point out that they don't appreciate you. Put your foot down. And don't just make threats and ultimatums, do something about it. All or nothing. Don't ever be afraid, someone will always be willing to help you. Chances are other people know you're in a bad relationship too. Have some self respect. Don't go crawling back to someone who hurts you because of a twisted ugly version of something that's supposed to be beautiful.
9. Paranoid partners are probably cheaters, too. If you're a loyal person it sucks to be accused of something you would never do. So think about it. Why are they so worried? Did they do something they know would hurt you? Are they afraid of you doing the same thing? When they're showing up uninvited trying to catch you in some sort of act, they're probably guilty themselves. They've at least thought about it. But get control of the situation. Don't let yourself go crazy, too.
10. There's nothing worse than a liar. I can't stand being lied to, especially if I know it. I've given people chances to confess and tell the truth, but if they're lying about one thing how can you believe anything else they say? If there's no trust, there's no respect, and there's certainly no real communication. Therefore, you have nothing. Why. Lie. Get the hell away from someone trying to keep you in their life with nothing but made up stories. Again, don't confuse butterflies with red flags.
11. The best relationships take time and begin with friendship. That's a pretty self explanatory statement on it's own, but it really is true. Best guy friends make the best boyfriends, and some boyfriends make the best guy friends. When a mutual breakup occurs, stay friends, and get used to having each other in your lives. If you can build up a good friendship and get comfortable, you already have some of the basic and most important elements of a good relationship.

I'm about to leave the single life behind forever, and I couldn't be happier. I don't know what people see in all the he said/she said gossipy scene of meeting people and juggling multiple possible relationships at once and I'm so happy to get away from it. I've just been that girl that's been looking for that one person since I was nine years old, and it's been painful, to say the least. But heartbreaks are necessary. Up until this weekend I didn't think my attitude towards all this was all that uncommon, but it felt like it being around friends who were still elbow deep in drama and complaints. Call me old fashioned, but I guess I've just grown up. I'm also lucky to have found someone I'm so sure about. I know it's not easy for everyone, and not everyone cares so much about it like I do. I just don't see the point of seeing the world, being successful, and starting a family if you have to do it alone.