Webcam Boredom

Because everybody does it at one point.

After All That

I'm not even sure what to say.
I read what I write over and over.
"Should I take it down?"
"I should re-write that."
I don't want to apologize
for having an outburst of personal thoughts
and making them public
even though I feel like I should.
There I was trying to prove I'm mature,
ranting online.
An oxymoron.
But I hate sitting around
questioning too many things.
So I won't.
I'll go have breakfast instead.
I'm a human being.

Who knew?

Clarifications

Another one of my .gifs

Recently I caught wind of some of the gossip going around at home, and the only thing I know to do about it is write, so I wanted to vent here without sharing too much information.
Here are some words I'm told describe me:
-entitled
-selfish
-immature
-dramatic
-obsessed
-mooch
So. That's very charming, thank you. I think my least favorite thing about this situation is that nobody ever says anything to my face or asks me why I act a certain way. I'm judged purely by my actions and a lot of other things seem to go unnoticed. Do something wrong, everyone remembers. Do something right, no one does. But again, no one talks to me. Apparently they're afraid that I'm going to turn into a banshee and bite their heads off. Sorry I've given that impression.
I've never forced Michael to do anything. I'm not the devil on his shoulder convincing him to do something he doesn't want to do, turning him against everyone. He's doing what he wants to do and (this will sound bitchy) certain folks can't seem to get it through their heads that that's having a future with yours truly. Everything seems to be my fault. I'm some sort of obsessive temptress.
May I kindly remind all of you that I did not tell him to join the army, I did not expect him to, and with or without me he'd be miles and miles away. I have also never seen myself as "entitled" to anything, because whenever anyone sees me "taking what I want" I'm doing so because I asked Michael multiple times if it was alright. It's very likely that I'm worried and sweating inside that I'm doing the wrong thing and being judged for it. Apparently this is correct.
I'd like to address the immaturity comment. Michael and I had a lot of issues last year but I'm very aware that I had most of them. The reason for this is because we didn't know where our relationship was going. He never reassured me of anything and showed less and less interest in my feelings the more I pushed them onto him. I got angry when he didn't do something I wanted or expected, because I was terrified that everyone was right and he was just getting bored with me and I couldn't see my life without him. The issues were deeper than just "I was being immature," but I can see why people would assume so. Our problems went both ways more than once, but I think the popular opinion, once again, is that it was all me.
I'm also immature (according to others), as in not an adult, because of my living situation. My mother leans on people a lot, and so people see me doing the same thing, despite the fact that I went to school full time and held a job for a year at the same time. I wanted to get away from Prescott and when I told my dad he offered me a place to live. I already had a room here. And before Michael asked me to live with him my plan was to find a job and keep going to school, not necessarily in that order. I'm not doing well at getting a job so far but I am going to school full time.
I don't want to live with friends or roommates. Maybe I'm "taking the easy way out" going from one parent to another and skipping what is considered an important step, but I've seen so many friends have problems with roommates it doesn't seem worth it to me. People are no longer friends after living with each other. I don't mind skipping the stress and heartache of it because frankly, I'd rather not deal with it.
And then Michael asked me to live with him. I was really excited because before he joined he never wanted to even consider it. Though right before he left we had started tentatively mentioning our future. I've just been along for the ride. Just yesterday Michael said "the sooner the better" and I think if I was as immature as everyone says I am I'd drop out of school and move next week and never go back to school or work.
But it's not like that. Does anyone stop to ask me about it? No, certainly not. Because it's more fun to sit around and talk about it and wait till I hear it from someone else. That's great, really.
No one's perfect. It's something people have to be reminded of all the time. Michael and I just want to be together. We love each other and I would never screw him over.
You're thinking "you say that now but just wait" aren't you?
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
I miss him. I'm not the only one and I'm not the most important one, either. I can't help that he texts me in the morning, or calls me before he goes to bed, and talks to me about his problems. It's like he trusts me and I'm his best friend or something, who would've thought? And we share those feelings, and that's why we want to get married. We see past all the bad stuff and imperfections and we see an opportunity to grow together. I've known him for seven years now. That's almost half my life. We've dated for two. And some people think it's still too soon.
I know people are just afraid of losing him. But it's not to me; he'd still be in the Army if we weren't together. I promise I'm not hiding him in my closet and making it look like he's a soldier. I didn't actually think we'd do as well as we have. But seriously, it goes both ways and I'm perfectly willing to talk about it. I think many of the "concerns" expressed have a lot to do with people's insecurities and just the fact that he's gone. Frankly, I thought I'd either be "just the girlfriend" for a long time or he'd dump me. I don't have the greatest self esteem. But Michael has this way of making me feel better, like everything I've ever thought negatively about myself is ridiculous. And he can tell me things he's never told anyone.
The last thing I want to do is use him as some kind of financial crutch, and the very very last thing I'd ever never do is cheat on him. I find both notions preposterous. But no one knows I feel that way because they've never asked. So I don't know how else to handle this. Technically, I probably shouldn't even know some of the things being said about me. So how would I act if I didn't know? I'd go about my business and move on with my life, which is exactly what I'm gonna do.

Found

A movie ticket stub, from Harkins Theatre in Prescott Valley.
That's where we met.
And that was our first date 06/14/09.
The Hangover.
Great night, best summer.

Lullabies

Slang

I wanted to write about the activity I did in my Communications class today because it was not only entertaining, but a little controversial and interesting too.
The teacher wrote a series of words on the board. She told us to come up with slang words or our own synonyms for each word. We split into groups to do so.
This was the result:
1.Butt: ass, badonkadonk, junk in the trunk, cake booty, rear end, hiney, hindquarters
2.Party: rager, fiesta, get together, sausage fest, shindig, gathering kickback (other groups had words like soiree, and chillfest.)
3.Awesome: kickass, cool, badass, legit, bitchin', sweet, boss and sick (that one I'm not a fan of).
4.Handicapped: (this is where we started laughing but also something we discussed afterwards) retarded, dumbass, r-tard, stoopid, mentally deficient, mentally disabled, broken, and my favorites from other groups: short bus rider, window licker.
5.Homosexual: (we all voted not to use the word fag but every other group did) gay, homo, butt pirate, fudge packer, pillow biter, butt bumper, carpet muncher, lesbo, lesbi-gay
6.Drunk/High: slammed, shit faced, stoned, baked, schmammered, hammered, wasted, plastered, smoked out, rolling, face shitted, fucked up
7.Sex: bangin', doing the horizontal mambo, gettin' dirty, humping, getting busy/freaky, bumping uglies, fucking, screwing, making babies, fornicating.
8.Hello: Hola, hey, what's up, how's it going, what's shakin', hi, 'sup.
9.Goodbye: see ya, later, peace/out, adios, ciao (simple enough, and most everyone had the same words for Hello and Goodbye)
10.Girl: chick, bitch, lady, woman, hooker (we were laughing at this point, just saying terrible names), slut, yeti (the marine in my group said this was a military term for a very ugly woman). Other groups had words like chica and queen.
11.Boy: dick, dude, guy, fella, champ tiger, jerk (and bro).
12.Car: ride, whip, vehicle, transportation, P.O.S., grocery getter, family wagon, taxi, sex mobile, shaggin' wagon.
13.Friend: amigo, pal, buddy, bff, homie, partner in crime, buddy, girl friend, man friend, lady friend
13.Old people: hag, granny, wrinkly people, senior citizens, geezer and one group came up with silver fox which I thought was awesome.
14.Bad: no bueno, terrible, shitty, fucked up, sucky, awful, sketchy, horrible, shady, evil.


So, did any of those words offend you? Did you think of other words? The teacher pointed out that we associate negative things with certain words. Many words we chose to attach to girl implied that girls who like sex are bad. And many of us raised our hands when she asked if we would've changed our answers to handicapped if someone in the room was in a wheelchair. Which words would we say to our friends? To someone of authority, or an older family member? Some words people would find offensive other people use casually between each other without meaning to hurt. Why do we choose these words? To be funny? To be ironic?
Some words are meant to hurt. I don't really know a girl that hasn't been called a slut in seriousness, but I find the word difficult to take seriously. Last time someone called me a slut and meant it it was out of blinded anger and jealousy, not because I was actually promiscuous. I had to laugh. Words like that don't mean anything unless you let them.
There were a lot of words other groups put down that I can't remember that I thought were entertaining. There was also an exchange between a black woman and a young black man that I didn't understand. They had slang terms I'd never heard of, and when she used the term "boppin'" for sex the young black guy looked at her like he wasn't sure what she meant, and she gave him a knowing look and said "you know what a boppery is." Apparently he did. I know they don't know each other outside of class. I don't feel like it's terrible of me to assume that other races say things I wouldn't understand.
It was an interesting activity. I actually didn't want to read the words out loud as we went around and made someone else do it. We laughed, but it was also touchy at times. No one announced if they were offended by anything or not. We just tried to focus on what made us laugh, which is probably the best thing we could've done.

Alphabet Facts

A   If you were an ANIMAL, what would you be? A red fox or a wild cat of an exotic kind.
B   BOOKS: What's on your reading list? I want to read Freak Show by James St. James
C   COMPULSIVE about anything? My dad makes fun of the way I arrange my snacks. I just want to make sure there's enough cheese for my crackers.
D   DREAMS - Do you ... dream in color? remember your dreams? keep a dream journal? I dream vividly in color almost every night and usually remember them. I'll tell Michael and/or write them down and save them, but just in my regular journal with everything else.
E   EATING - what's your usual snack? Wheat thins with cheese, apples and nutella, and almonds.
F   A Few of your FAVORITE Things: Movies, Michael Bradley Cook, campfires, hoodies, laughing, rain.
G   GIGGLES! What (or who) makes you laugh? Do you have a good sense of humor? Whether or not my sense of humor is good is a matter of opinion but I'd like to think so. Jim Carrey, Matthew Perry, Nick Swardson, Dave Chapelle, Michael Bradley Cook, certain things children say, animals doing silly things, I could keep going.
H   major HOT Button: Like what makes me mad or what turns me on? I'm confused. I have a pretty short temper. People who don't know what they're talking about piss me off.
I   I am ______________Chloé
K   Also KNOWN As... Aliases? Screen names? Nicknames? Chlobo, Chloboat, Chlo, Chroe
L   I LOVE ...the boyfriend, the band Clutch, japanese and indian food, Invader Zim.
M   How do you feel about MEETING people? Do it all the time? Rarely? Parties or 1-on-1? I'm hesitant to meet new people, just because I don't see myself staying in touch with them. I don't do it often, only at school. Definitely prefer one on one.
N   What's the story of your NAME? were you named after anyone? Do you go by a nickname? Any aliases? My mom got my name from a brand of perfume she liked when she was fifteen. It's another name for the Greek Goddess Demeter, goddess of harvest, fertility and family.
O   OBSERVANT - What's around you right now? What do you see? A picture of me and Deroy, my nalgene water bottle, my Spore computer game, my stereo, my lamp, my shelf of DVDs...lotsa stuff.
P   Who are the special PEOPLE in your life? Boyfriend, best friend, dad, mom, brother, cousins.
Q   Any Little QUIRKs About Yourself: I believe in astrology more than I let on, animated movies make me happy; I used to act like a badass but I'm just a big softy.
R   What do you like to do for RECREATION? Draw, write, try to learn something new about anything, play games with friends.
S   Do You SING in the Shower? In the car? For your friends? In the shower, no. In the car, yes. For my friends? When I'm drunk. Maybe.
T   What's at the Top of your TO DO list?: Finish this semester and get out of Phoenix.
U   Any UNUSUAL Experiences: You mom was pretty unusual last night. No, really, my mom had this friend that we took to the renaissance fair once and she went totally nuts. That was pretty unusual. We had to get her back from security.
V   VEGAS, Vienna, Venice, Vladivostok... How far have you traveled? What's your favorite City? I was last in Virginia, actually. That's the farthest I've been.
W   WINTER, Spring, Summer, Fall... What's your favorite season? What makes it special? Anything but summer. I like colder seasons because I like warm drinks and blankets and smelling like a campfire hippie.
X   EXes - Things You Don't Do Anymore (but did, once (would you, again?)) I used to dye my hair a lot but I haven't for about two years now. I would, but I'm not sure when.
Y   Any secret/deep YEARNINGS? To have a normal conversation with some of the people I don't talk to anymore.
Z   ZERO to ZENITH - Where are you in your life? Still growing? On an upward (or downward) curve? Just skating along? I've come a long way but I'm still growing and learning about myself. Definitely an upward curve.

Making .GIFs

(click on photo)

So today I fandangled a version of Adobe Photoshop CS5 from the internet and have been figuring out how to make .gif files. It's easy to do with files from my own videos, since they're Quicktime files, but recorded bits from VLC are very hit and miss since those file types aren't as universal.
I've been really bored and in low spirits this weekend so I felt like doing something silly to cheer myself up, so I made a .gif of myself. Woo, vanity!
Others I've made (not very many so far) are on my tumblr so feel free to search those out.

Conflictions

(This is going to be one of those sort-of angsty ramblings that seems like a disconnected branch from the tree of casual entries I've set up here for you. Don't read too much into it.)

I miss a lot of things. I've said this before; I miss good times with bad people. Maybe the right place, wrong time, or vice versa. I miss when everyone lived in the same city and we all huddled around a drunkenly made bonfire outside of a tiny apartment. Fall is nearly here and winter is creeping closer, so it makes me look back on all the other falls and winters I've had.
I try to understand things and people no longer in my life all the time. I think about what they say now and if they mean it. We don't have much to say to each other anymore but we say words we know the other will hear, like two lines that once crossed but are drawn further and further apart. I don't even know quite why we do it, if not out of some strange comfort and way of keeping each other around.
I miss when everything started, when everyone was close and no one knew what was going to happen. I miss seeing more than one familiar face in the first hour of my day. I'm surrounded by groups of friends and lovers that I'll never know. They have inside jokes and animated conversations and I sit awkwardly trying to make sure my face doesn't give too much away while I eat my almonds and wait for change.
There are too many people, too many places here. I do miss my small town. I miss pine trees and hoodies. I miss knowing where a place was if I wanted to apply for a job. I'm so overwhelmed I don't know where to start and I feel that by the time I do it'll be time to leave again. Does that make me lazy? Or just scared?
But here's the thing. There's no going back. I know there's not much left for me there besides worn memories and the few people who haven't left yet. I'm getting used to this and it's going to be okay. You can't stay in a place forever just because it's familiar. I don't even know what home is anymore. I think it's a person. I think it's wherever that person is. But he's not here. So everyday has a hole in it where he should be.
So I just have to try and make the most of this.
But it's not easy.

I feel better, so I'm going to bed. Thanks for lurking, makes me feel listened to and not so crazy.

Panty and Stocking With Garterbelt

As you can see from this clip, this is an animated series originating in Japan. Since the first season it's been rapidly gaining popularity and left misunderstood by a lot of people as well. If you can't see the parody, satire and irony of this show then you probably shouldn't be watching it at all.

 About the show: Panty and Stocking are two "angels" (their behavior suggests otherwise) and they are lead by a priest known as Garterbelt. Much of the animation is done in the style of Powerpuff Girls, though occasionally goes into sequences resembling other shows. It makes many references to things from pop culture and doesn't take itself seriously in the least bit. (The first episode is about a poop monster, if that tells you anything.) It's vulgar, it's ridiculous, and for whatever reason I love it.
Anyway, Panty and Stocking defeat evil monsters to earn Heaven Coins so they can one day return to where they belong. They're major slackers though, and each have their weaknesses. Stocking loves all things gothic and candy (I'm planning on being Stocking for Halloween, since I identify with her love of sweets so much), and Panty can't go out of the house without having sex with somebody and enjoys all things spicy. Their adversaries are two demons named Scanty and Kneesocks. Each set of girls has a little animal sidekick resembling creatures from Invader Zim. The demons are much more orderly and follow strict rules, completely the opposite of Panty and Stocking.

 The show seems to have caught on so much according to this picture I found on Tumblr today. I'm still trying to find out just where this place is, but I have no doubt it's somewhere in Japan. I found more pictures of the dishes they have there and it looks perfect. They even went as far as making the special Heaven pudding that Stocking joneses for so often.
All fans are hoping for a second season and the first season suggested one but due to the nature of the show it's very likely at the time they made the episode the creators had no idea if they were making a second season yet and just felt like messing with the fans.

Mirror Message

Mikey wrote this on my mirror for me before he left. I had to hold up a solid background to get a good picture of it (which was really hard to do and it still looks dumb but whatever) so you could actually read it. Just felt like sharing it. :)

Blech.

I don't know if I'm getting sick or what but I've been feeling really crappy since last weekend. Could be being back in this extreme heat, or I'm thrown off from over sleeping repeatedly, I'm just not sure. I just know I feel disgusting and sweaty and so so tired all the time lately. It's worrying me a little.
It sort of feels like last weekend was a dream. A lot of stuff I've gone thru this past year seems dream like now. I was looking back on some stuff I wrote to Michael, and I kept surprisingly busy while he was in BCT. I'm bored here and always complaining so people always ask me why I moved if I'm not really happy where I am.
I pushed myself to get out of town and away from where I grew up because it was just time. I could tell if I didn't I might get stuck, though that was before Michael asked me to live with him. I wanted to make myself do something I didn't want to do. I figured it would be good for me. On the other hand, I knew it would be good to be closer to the airport and build a better relationship with my dad. I also thought my best friend was moving out here too, but she's been a bit delayed by work. I was going a little crazy living with my mom even though I loved Prescott so much. Now it's a lovely place to visit and enjoy, it just feels strange that I might not ever live there again.
At first I thought I'd be here for a year, but now that time has been cut in half. I'm pretty happy about that because I don't know if I much care for this lifestyle. This heat really makes me feel gross inside and out.

Pottermore Beta Review

I know I'm not the only Potterhead out there who was desperate for something Potter to cling to when the series ended, which is why Pottermore came just in time.

    What is Pottermore? It's a visual interactive guide to the books. You experience scenes with artwork and can zoom in and out of layers looking for clues and special content revealing facts and back stories JK Rowling didn't include in the books. It is very much like following Harry's footsteps as a separate student; you get your own wand and you get sorted and compete for your house while still experiencing things as Harry did. I guess it's kind of like being the invisible number four in the golden trio.
    Anyway back in July there was this contest that lasted for seven days. Every day at some ungodly time (if you weren't in the correct time zone) you had to solve a book based clue to find a magical quill. I was running out of time and not arriving at the right time to do this, and expressed my woe on Tumblr. Out of nowhere, a mysterious anon gave me information for a spare account. I still don't know who it was but I wish I could thank them again. A month later, I finally got my welcome email allowing me access. However, this was just as I'd arrived in Prescott, and so even though I'd waited a month I put it off for just a few more days (because friends and family are more important).
    Pottermore is lovely but lacking. Being the beta version it has many kinks and limitations. But the whole concept is so great you can't not enjoy it. I love love love the unlockable secrets, like how Vernon and Petunia met and married, how Professor McGonagall got to Hogwarts and the original forty names for all of the characters. There is no background music to any of the scenes yet (which would really pump up the magical feeling) and in some chapters there is little to nothing to do or collect. Each chapter only includes highlight scenes, so they go by fast. There are many locked locations taunting you; since only the first book is available to explore you can't access them.
    The very best parts are getting your wand and being sorted. You take two very specific quizzes designed by JK herself, and there are so many wand combinations each one really is unique. There is also a breakdown of the wand cores, length, and wood type; what they mean and how they apply to the owner.

Here's my wand. The core is unicorn hair. It generally produces the most consistent magic, and is least subject to fluctuations and blockages. It is also the most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts. There are notes from Ollivander discussing lengths; longer wands aren't just drawn to taller wizards but to wizards with bigger personalities, so height doesn't really matter. There is a rather large list of wood types. "Dogwood wands are quirky and mischievous; they have playful natures and insist upon partners who can provide them with scope for excitement and fun. It would be quite wrong, however, to deduce from this that dogwood wands are not capable of serious magic when called upon to do so..."
I was really happy with this result, and shortly after I was in Hogwarts greeted by a video of JK basically saying "this is it!" I already had my heart set on a house and so the nerd in me was pretty much overjoyed when I landed in Ravenclaw.
When I first started reading it of course I wanted to be in Gryffindor, and of course I had all these notions about the houses and the kind of people in them. But after it was all said and done I felt like I would belong in Ravenclaw a whole lot more. They're quirky, thoughtful, clever etc and besides, JK herself thinks I belong there, too. Gryffindor is not just for the show offs and the brave, Slytherin is not just for the bad guys and Hufflepuff is not just for the losers who don't fit in to anything else. There's a lot more to each of them and I'm sure I could make a whole post about it but maybe later, that's not what this is about. 

Here is what your Gateway looks like. The color scheme is based on your house, and all of the little dangly things on top lead to different places, obviously. Here you can see where your friends are in the book and where you are on the path of the series. You have a profile, a page for your friends, a common room for your house, and you can also go to the Great Hall to check out who is ahead in house points.
Again, this is Beta, so there are many things you can't do yet, areas of the site being worked on, and kinks and glitches in the one of two activities to earn points: potion making. Good lord is this frustrating. I know a lot of people are having problems so I hope when it opens to the public in October that it improves. It was difficult to figure out at first but sometimes even when you know you did something right the whole cauldron will blow up in your face and you'll have to buy a new one (you start out with 500 galleons and can't get any more till the next book so this is bad). Potions have two steps and you generally have to literally wait more than an hour to complete the second step. What if you have to make a Polyjuice Potion? Shit takes over a month to brew in the book, just how accurate are we being here? This aspect needs a lot of adjustments.
    I have yet to experience wizard dueling yet because it's under construction, but I have been able to practice spells. Again, strange to figure out, but at least it gets easier once you do. It would be nice if I could experience this feature because I've just about run out of things to collect (which earns one house point) and I'm terrible at potions.
    I can't wait to see all the changes this site goes through. It's definitely off to a good start and people are taking earning house points really seriously. It seems Gryffindor and Hufflepuff got a little left behind, and now most of the competition is between Slytherin and Ravenclaw. I've been adding people I find via Tumblr, just for fun, and someone has already given me a gift! Potterheads are really nice, that's been a big lesson of mine, because if it weren't for a certain stranger I wouldn't be here in the first place.
   Things I think you should be able to do on Pottermore (but can't): 
   ΔName your owl, cat or toad and use them to send personal messages
   ΔLook for ingredients in the forest
   ΔEarn Galleons
   ΔPlay/support Quiddich
   ΔTake a quiz to enter the Room of Requirement to see what it would be for you
   ΔTake a quiz to discover what Amortentia would smell like to you
   ΔGo to Knockturn Alley
   ΔBecome an Animagus
   ΔPlay a game with Peeves
   ΔActually take the classes (maybe not necessarily daily, but weekly, with quizzes and interactions that decide whether or not you pass and earn points)

Back To Reality (After an amazing weekend)

This weekend was without a doubt worth every minute. That's kind of a given fact but I had to reiterate it. I'm not sure where to start; even after sleeping all day to recover from pulling an all nighter I'm still sleepy and so all of my thoughts are jumbled up. I can't decide if I'm going to do a short summary thing or an elaboration thing so I'll try to combine them.

◊Due to nerves I parked in the wrong terminal, but didn't wander long before finding Mikey.
◊My dad's GPS took us a really stupid way home thru a ghetto area across train tracks and diagonal roads (the most confusing and retarded design if you ask me)
◊After some doddling we located an authentic polish cafe not far from my house; it was deliiiicouuus! I definitely want to go there again.
◊ We went swimming when we got back and I showed him a bunch of my stuff laying around while we waited for Chris to pick us up.

◊We met up with his family and had chinese food
◊A couple people came over later and hung out, staying up way late like we usually do (but I'm usually the first to call it quits and go to bed)
◊Mikey was being really modest because he's buffed up a lot and doesn't think handstand pushups are impressive. But they are.
◊People gradually showed up all day; as expected there was lots of food and drink.
◊We ducked out just for a little while to visit my grandma's surprise birthday party at Olive Garden; she was reeeeally happy to see us and I was glad we went.

This picture came out great.

◊Michael's sister gave a bunch of people henna tattoos which all came out well, even when some got messed up while drying they generally stayed.
◊The guys got obsessed with backwards speak (again) and it lasted well over an hour. It was pretty entertaining.
◊ I definitely didn't get to sleep till around five am, when  the last of the guests went home.
◊We got up five hours later and I went to lunch with my family while Michael went out with his.
◊We had sort of had a goal of leaving to Phoenix by seven or eight that night, but it didn't happen. He wanted to stay longer, and I didn't blame him.
◊So we had dinner and watched Forest Gump, and Michael said his goodbyes to everyone.

 ◊One of my favorite pictures out of the well over a hundred I took was this one of Michael and Chris. They hadn't seen each other since April and they've been friends for so long, it was adorable but sad to see them hug goodbye.
◊Michael and I stayed up (falling in and out of sleep) watching Party Monster and talking before venturing to the airport. Obviously I was really sad to see him go, and after hardly getting any sleep of course I cried when I got home. Then I slept all day.
◊So now it's back to long days alone in Phoenix. I may start looking for a job more seriously since I couldn't stand the idea of getting one and not getting time off for this weekend. There aren't a lot of reasons for me to get to know Phoenix all that well. I'm not the kind of person to just wander out into a huge city with the intent of making a discovery I have no one to share it with. It was great and almost unreal having Mikey with me, especially in Phoenix where I'm so used to quiet isolation. I'm getting to know a few people at school and who knows, maybe I'll actually hang out with someone outside of it but it wouldn't bother me much if I didn't.
The next visit is not soon enough. Before then I definitely plan on spending Halloween with my best friend because we're planning on dressing up as Panty and Stocking. That should be a lot of fun. But come November I have to start figuring out where I'm going to school in Oklahoma, and I'm going to start my bachelors degree in psychology. Things should really start picking up and improving as this year comes to an end.
Michael is my best friend and every thing I could ever hope for from another person, and hopefully in the not so distance future more people will see how good we are together these days. I really can't imagine life without him. I know we'll be a great team and move forward together and always find new ways to make our relationship better. Distance is hard but has made us appreciate each other a lot more and I just couldn't ask for someone better.