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March to April. Smaller torso, more definition! |
I keep feeling like I'm not getting anywhere lately, because the changes have been smaller, but they're still there, and thanks to these pictures I can see them! This is a much more satisfying form of watching fitness progress than taking measurements and weights. I not only want to look thin but feel strong, and it's obvious I'm getting there. I still have nearly a month left until I go home, which is plenty of time to make another jump in progress just like this one.
In longer terms, I have made
huge leaps of progress just in 2013 alone. If I take the picture on the right and compare it to a few months ago, the result is amazing to me.
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January to April |
There I was in January thinking I'd made serious progress then, and I'd made some since I started, yes, but compared to April I was still pretty far away from my goal. Now I'm so close to where I want to be, and so addicted to this lifestyle I think I'll be able to maintain and hopefully never get as unhealthy as I was last year again.
On a sadder less triumphant note I am already completely miserable at my job and hating it. I know since it's a dead end job and a service job nonetheless, I'm not really supposed to be looking forward to it or liking it a whole lot. But I did when I started. Now, the dramatic atmosphere has only increased, and the chef/manager has decided he has some sort of problem with me and I honestly don't understand why.
He hired a dishwasher on the spot one day, and only three days went by that they had some kind of confrontation and he fired him. The next day, the kitchen plumbing was flooded. The previously employed dishwasher fully admitted to doing it on purpose, but not before calling a health inspector. The manager doesn't speak great english, and kept asking me to explain things to the inspector. I wasn't even sure what the plumbing problem was, so when he asked me a question about it I didn't fully understand what he was talking about. We have a leak in the dishwashing sinks and water sometimes builds up by the back door. I said so, thinking that was what it was.
He apparently took this as me trying to make matters worse for him, when I was just trying to be honest and figure out what he was asking. The next day he brought all the waitresses in and said he didn't trust anyone anymore, he doesn't care about anyone's feelings, and made a different waitress the shift leader, a position we've never had before, and flat out said he knew I had seniority over her, but he didn't care.
I guess he has diabetes, because when he gets extremely moody and ill tempered it's "because of his blood sugar." He blames everything on it and uses it as an excuse to say he can treat us however he wants because he's paying us. I walked out of the "meeting" feeling like I'd been stepped on and dehumanized. I wondered if this was allowed, if other people have gone through this, and how much longer I was supposed to "not let it bother me" (as everyone else told me to do) and continue working for someone so unpredictable and angry.
Needless to say I think I'll be looking for a different job, one that isn't family owned, with higher ups I can talk to about mistreatment and not be told to just keep my head down. For now, I want to continue earning money. I just have to try to go into work today ignoring this soul crushed sensation in my chest and utter disappointment in the people in this town.